His eyes hold so many emotions, emotions I don't think I can even comprehend. I look down, letting my hair fall in front of my face. My voice comes out in a whisper, even though I didn't plan for it to, "I must look like a mess."
"Beautiful," Micah mumbles, "you mean."
Zara slides off Micah's legs, tugging his hand in the process. "Walk daddy? I.. Whant cookie!"
"Rose?" Micah asks, standing up.
"I think I need a coffee," I stand up, taking Zara's hand. "And who said you can have a cookie, missy?"
"Daddy?" Zara takes his hand.
Micah grins slipping on his coat before grabbing Zara's small hand again. "I never said that baby, and I think if mummy says no that means you can't have one."
Zara pouts her lips.
"Let's find a shop outside," I bend down to Zara's level, zipping up her jacket. "I think if you're good, you can have a cookie, okay?"
"Ye-es, mummy."
When the elevator opens, Zara skips through holding Micah's hand. Following in after I lean against the wall. Zara eagerly holds Micah's hand waiting for the door to open again.
Outside the hospital, I take a deep breathe of the fresh air.
Zara lets go of Micahs hand skipping ahead of us to pick up a leaf. My thin cardigan barely holds up against the icy wing.
Micah glances down at me before taking his coat off. Micah places it over my shoulders, I stare up at him for what seems like forever, before slipping my arms through the sleeves.
"Thank you," I whisper.
His tattoo covered arms are on show. I travel back to thoughts of what people would think of us, this man covered in tattoos by my side with a kid that looks like the girl version of her father. These people, this town, I've know my entire life would judge everything about this.
"Are you okay?" Micah asks.
I don't reply to his question, "there's a nice coffee shop down the road. I'm sure it'd still be there."
Micah's lips part but he doesn't say anything. I take Zara's hand walking down the way too familiar streets. Places I used to love, places I used to hate.
Zara has her arm wrapped around the body of her toy, she skips along the pavement beside me. I glance at Micah who has his hands in his pockets. This man has changed so much since I first knew him.
Standing in front of the small coffee shop, I take a deep breathe. Micah pushes the door open, letting Zara and I through. "Here," Micah pulls his coat down past my shoulders.
"Thank you," I smile. "I'll go order, what do you want?"
"Coffee, don't get add ins," Micah reaches into his pocket. He hands me his card, "get
whatever you want."
"Go sit."
Walking up to the counter, I look in the display case. "What would you like to order?" the person on the other side asks.
"Just a plain coffee and hot chocolate. I'll also take a cookie. Take away."
He puts my order into the computer, nodding. He quickly wraps my rolls and puts the cookie in a paper bag, "we'll bring your drinks over once their ready."
"Thank you," I grab the plate and the rolls.
Bringing them over I put the cookie in front of Zara who shoots up excitedly. "Tanks, Mummy," she picks up taking a huge bite.
Putting Micah's card on the table, I sit down on the chair opposite him. "I asked for take-away, I want to take Zara to a park."
Zara sits on Micah's lap, taking bits out of her cookie. "Not too much," I lean over, grabbing the cookie. "It's nearly bigger than you."
Breaking a piece off I hand it to her, "you can have the rest later, okay?"
It only takes the barista a few minutes to get our drinks done. He drops them off at our table before going back behind the counter. Standing up, I grab my drink, the heat warming my hands.
"It's not too far, we won't stay long since it is quite cold."
Micah holds his coat up again, I shake my head. "I'm fine, you use it," I sip my drink.
He shakes his head, moving behind me, "you're freezing."
"Micah-"
"I thought Zara was the only one here who needed help putting jackets on."
Sighing, I slip my arms through the sleeves. I can smell Micah's after shave against the material, something to familiar yet foreign to me. Micah picks up Zara, I stare at the two, smiling. Something I saw so rarely from Micah.
We walk in silence to the park, it isn't a far walk but the second we get there Zara begs for Micah to put her down. Which he does, after teasing her for a minute.
Zara skips over to the playground, I smile shaking my head. "You never replied," Micah turns to me, "when I asked if you were okay."
"I never thought I'd be so hurt over the fact my father is in hospital, after the way they pushed me onto the street. I thought I could never forgive them yet here am I hurting so bad."
Micah lets out a breathe, looking at the floor between us.
"Hey, thank you for being here, Micah. I really needed someone."
The way he looks at me, makes my heart feel a thousand emotions. I never thought this man could make me feel so much love and hatred for him at the same time. I never thought I could feel so much at once for one person.
Micah nods, brushing my hair back with his fingers. Closing my eyes, I shake my head, "you always do that."
"You should have told me, I would have taken you here instead of my father."
"You should have told me you were leaving for two weeks," I look into his eyes. "It goes both ways Micah."
He stays silent for a moment, "deep in the shadows, these big scary monsters live. They want to hurt my princess, but no.. I vowed to kill everyone who even thinks of harming my child."
"Micah," I part my lips, breathing in the cool air.
His lips part, dropping his head. "I needed to protect you and Zara, but I couldn't say goodbye because if you knew the risk of me leaving, Rose.."
this. was. so. fucking. hard. to. write.
one more chapter babies and this is all over. my heart.
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