2 and a half years later
The sun peeking through the clouds illuminates the sky with an orange glow, the summer heat is already disappearing so I take some of my last few chances to take Zara to the beach before it's cold. I spray sunscreen on her arms and legs, rubbing it in so she doesn't get burnt from the sun.
"Close your eyes and mouth, baby," I brush her hair from her face. She teases me laughing with her mouth open. I roll my eyes spraying the sunscreen on my hand and rubbing it onto her face and neck.
I stare at her, the small scar from her surgery sticks out from her bathers. I touch where her heart is feeling the steady beat.
She points to the water with a look on her face like she thinks it's going to disappear any second. I laugh kissing her cheek quickly putting sunscreen on myself before she runs away. Grabbing her floaties from the bag I push them onto her arm, just to be sure.
"Maaaa!" She points to the water again upset I'm taking so long. "Ater"
"Water, Zara," I pick her up walking closer.
"Ater," she smiles putting her hand on my shoulder.
"You'll get it soon," I brush her hair back. I put Zara down at the edge of the water, I remember the first time we came to the beach with Grace. Zara couldn't stop crying and throwing a tantrum but now only a few months later I'm sure it's one of her favourite places to be.
She squats down splashing water and laughing. I water her carefully as she plays in the shallows of the water. She's my entire life now. I just wish I could provide more for her. Way more for her.
After the life she's already had she deserves the world. I don't know if I'm saying that just because she's my daughter but it the truth - at least to me.
She sits on my feet leaning against my legs.
A wave comes splashing her. She laughs and crawls behind me life it's some sort of protection from the wave. Zara says something in her own unique baby language that no one can understand.
I'm proud of her achievements.
I'm proud of everything she does even if it's as simply as sitting on a chair by herself.
"Zara, baby. Let's go sit down for a bit, yeh?"
She nods and reaches for my hand. We take at least 10 minutes to get back to our spot, Zara doesn't give up on trying to walk there despite her falling every few metres.
♔♔♔
I put Zara under the shower rising the sand off her. She laughs kicking her legs and throwing her arms spraying water all over me and people who come up the ramp from the beach . "Zara, stop that," I quickly turn the water off as she splashes it everywhere.
She frowns crossing her arms.
I smile brushing her wet hair, "don't get mama wet, please."
I put her arms through the holes of the pink towel, putting the hood on her head. Sitting on the bench I sit Zara on me and take her bathers off and dry her body.
Zara wraps her arms around my neck.
I shut my eyes hugging her, "I love you, baby."
