Supernatural one shots

Human Culture (But not really)-Castiel

"Cas...Cas honey that's a CD," I said, attempting, but failing to hide my laughter. My very cute, but very clueless angel boyfriend Castiel, and I where at the mall. He decided he wanted to learn more about human culture, and I thought taking him to a mall would help him get a look at how things work for us.

It had been four years since Castiel had come to earth and pulled my brother Dean out of hell. Despite being with us for most of the time, he still didn't know a lot about human things. Currently, he was looking through a bin of old CD's that the store was selling for cheap. He had decided to put one one through his finger, and study it as if it were a very strange ring of sorts. He was more used to cassette tapes, since that was all we had in the Impala.

"Oh..." Cas muttered, his cheeks flushing from embarrassment. He carefully put the CD back in it's case and into the bin. I giggled, and took his warm hand in my own. "Come on! We have had enough of this store. I want to show you the bigger more popular places," I grinned and dragged him out, weaving through the crowds of people.

"Y/N, perhaps we should slow down," Cas spoke, having trouble keeping up with my pace. I smiled sheepishly and slowed down. "I'm sorry, I'm just excited to show you everything," A soft expression crossed Cas' rugged features. "Well then I am excited for you to show them to me too," He replied sweetly.

Before I could speak, a familiar voice spoke up. "Well well well, look who we have here," I turned to see the one and only Crowley walking towards Cas and I. The demon had begun to be less of a threat as of late, and more of a nuisance. I rolled my eyes. "Crowley, as much as we just adore your presence, my brothers would probably kill you if they knew you were here," I sassed, and crossed my arms.

"That's a rather rude way to greet a friend," He huffed, and Cas made a strange face. "I would hardly call our relationship that of friends," He muttered thoughtfully and I chuckled, while Crowley just looked offended. "Ouch," He placed a hand over his vessels heart. "Drama queen," I commented. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Crowley sobered up. "I heard you were taking feathers to learn more about humans. I wanted to come suggest a certain store, that's a must, when learning about the culture of man kind," He smirked, a sparkle of mischeif twinkling in his eyes. I was both suspicious and intrigued by this. "Okay...Let's hear it then," I raised a brow

"Why don't we take him to the one and only Victorias Secret?" My eyes widened, and for once, I deduced that Crowley had finally had a brilliant idea. "Oh my god yes!" I cried, dying to see Cas' reaction. I could almost picture it. His eyes going huge, that poor expression of awkward innocence on his face.

"Who is Victoria? And what is her secret?" Cas asked, genuinely confused, brows scrunched together. I chuckled softly. "It's just the name of a store, love," I took his hand. "Come, we've got to pay it a visit," I lead him along, and noticed Crowley preparing his phone to take a video. Another brilliant idea I hadn't expected to come from him.

I laughed, and dragged an unsuspecting Cas into the store. "So, this is Victorias Secret," I said, and watched as Cas slowly spun in a circle, observing all the ladies wear. It took him a few moments, but as soon as he realized what kind of store he was in, his cheeks burned red, and that expression I had known to expect, took over.

"Y/N I-I hardly think this is-is an appropiate place for me to be in...I-..Well I do not have the proper vessel for this attire," He stuttered, and swallowed. I chuckled. "Cas, theres nothing wrong with guy's wearing some of this stuff too. Maybe they don't have boobs, but they might like wearing panties, or things, and thats okay," I smiled.

Cas tilted his head at me. "Really?" He asked, observing the area. I nodded. "Yea! Some people think its bad, but they are probably just sexist judgmental ass holes. People should be able to wear whatever they want," Cas nodded along as I spoke and went up to a manikin. I hadn't expected this to take an educational turn, but I wasn't upset about it. I turned to Crowley, who was filming still, and gave a shrug. "I'm right arent I?" He nodded. "Absolutely. I agree completely,"

I turned back to Cas, who had placed his hands on the manikins breasts, feeling the soft material of the bra. He turned to me, looking surprised. "Y/N have you felt these? They are quite pleasurable to feel," He squished the bra, and I snorted, clapping a hand over my mouth. Crowley snickered, and I saw him zooming in on Cas.

Cas' eyes fell on the perfumes, and he wandered over, picking up one of the bottles. "Bombshell..." He muttered, and scrunched his nose. "Y/N, this doesn't seem safe. If there is a bomb in here that is very hazardous. We must evacuate everyone, this could be catastrophic," He spoke urgently, looking very worried.

"Cas no! No no that-that's not..." I couldn't help but chuckle. "That's just the name of a perfume," I explained, through giggles. Cas blinked at me before embarrassment seemed to take hold of him. "So...There is no bomb?" He asked softly, and I shook my head, smiling. "No bomb," I confirmed, and kissed his cheek. "But I admire your inherent good nature. You wanted to make sure everyone was safe,"

Crowley was cackling as he video taped, and I shot him a look. "It's not like you'd do anything if there really was a threat," I shot. He grinned. "Oh you're right, of course I wouldn't," He smiled, as if he were proud of that. I snorted. "At least he's honest," I turned back to cas and took the perfume, spraying some onto my wrist.

"Look, see? This is for people who want to smell good basically. Smell," I held out my wrist and he tentatively leaned closer, and took in the scent. "Oh. Oh that-that is quite nice," He confirmed, and spelled again. Apparently this time the scent seemed to over power him, as he quickly backed up, and sneezed not once, twice, but three times in a row.

Crowley kept clucking like a chicken, and I laughed softly as well. "That was pretty cute," I commented, causing my poor angel to blush yet again. I smiled widely and leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I love you, you know," I hummed and Cas smiled at me gently. "I love you as well," He spoke softly.

"Oh get a room!"

"Shut up Crowley!"