You Deserve

40

Marli

"I'm fucking tired." Yanna groaned as we entered entered the house.

Tossing her stuff on the coffee table, I chuckled as she dragged herself upstairs with me right behind her. I finally arrived to my room, immediately tossing everything on my bed and headed straight for the shower thinking about today's events.

Today was a pretty long and tiring day. After 3 more hours at the aquarium we went to a restaurant named Thrive for dinner. I genuinely had a great time, everyone enjoyed each other's company. There was nothing but smiles and laughs throughout the entire day, aside from the joyous tears the parents shared and the little episode with August. After that the tension between him and I had disappeared and I actually enjoyed his company despite the situation at hand. I'm not sure what to do when it comes to him. I love him, I honestly and truly do but I'm fearful of going back to that cycle of pain. I can't keep getting hurt and running back every time promises are made. I can't live like that anymore but it's so hard not to crawl back to him because I know he loves me and I love him. When you put your trust into somebody it's hard to let go. You can rant and rave all day long about how you deserve better and how he ain't shit but when time and most importantly feelings are involved, it's a whole different story. They're now apart of you and your life, you can't just let that go.

I had now slipped into a slight depression as I wrapped myself in a towel and made my way out of the bathroom. As I approached my dresser I noticed one of August's shirts lying carelessly in the corner behind my mini sofa. I picked it up, admiring it before I slipped it over my nude body. My eyes began to water as his scent filled my nostrils.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Him and I were supposed to be happy, none of this should've happen. I sank into my bed and let my tears run free. I felt so broken, all I wanted was for Aug to be right next to me, holding me and telling me everything was gonna be okay. I just wanted him here with me.

I groaned as my phone buzzed inside of my purse. I just wanted to be left alone. Fishing it out, I was met with an incoming call from an unknown number.

"Who is this?" I questioned trying to cover up my weakened voice.

"Can you open the door please?"

I sighed as August's voice pleaded from the other end. I sniffled trying to stop my tears before answering.

"Okay, I'm coming now." I croaked hanging up.

I huffed before getting up and made my way downstairs. I wiped my eyes before slowly opening the door. As soon as his eyes met mine I could see the pain in his.

"Come in." I whispered stepping aside so he could get through.

I closed and locked the door walking back upstairs with him hot on my trail. We went back to my room and I laid down as he silently stripped down to his basketball shorts. I watched him as he made his way over to the other side of the bed laying next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder as he pulled me close wrapping his arms around me. Neither of us said a word, we just continued to lay like that for what seemed like forever. I missed this, we missed this. After an endless moment he finally spoke up.

"I remember when I first saw you in that club I knew I had to have you. Even though I was a complete dickhead to you, I knew that wasn't gonna be the last time you and I would meet and I was cool with that. For a while I kept tellin myself I wasn't gon fall for no broad. I vowed to keep my head in the game and focus on my career and only that. But in the back of my mind that dream I had bout Mel pretty much haunted me. His words kept repeating themselves day in and dat out. 'Don't pass this up.' I knew I couldn't stay away from you no matter how hard I tried. It was like in that moment I knew I'd never be a free man again and to be honest I was alright with that and I just let myself go. We haven't known each other that long but to me it feels like a lifetime. And in the little time I've known you I see so much in you. You're one of the strongest people I know and I admire that about you, I really do. You give me hope that their are better days and that their are beautiful things to be discovered in life. Marli you are that beautiful thing I discovered."

I looked up at him only to be met with a tear stained faced and my heart instantly dropped. I had never seen him cry before and it hurt my heart to see him so broken. I gently placed my hand on his cheek as my vision got cloudy with awaiting tears. He sniffed and sighed before his eyes met mine.

"I thank God for bringin you in my life and I'm so sorry that I broke your heart. I messed up so bad and I'm sorry. Losing you brought back that same pain as losing Mel. I feel so empty but I can't blame nobody but myself because I fucked up and made that decision. I regret it so bad and I'm angry with myself because I can't take it back. Marli I need you wit me, I need you in my life and I can't take no for an answer. Whatever I gotta do imma do it just let me prove to you that I won't ever hurt you again. I love you Marli just let me get another chance. I'm beggin you don't leave baby. Please don't leave, I can't-"

His sentence was suddenly put to rest as he broke down. I sat up a little and held him as he continuously cried in my arms.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled repeatedly.

"Shh, baby stop crying please. I'm not going anywhere, just stop crying." I croaked as I kissed his forehead, rubbing his back.

After a few more moments his crying came to a hush and he removed himself from my hold sitting up against the headboard.

"August look at me."

I placed my hand under his chin leading his face to mine.

"I'm not going anywhere alright?"

More tears escaped my eyes as I met his sorrow filled face. He nodded and leaned in, softly placing his lips on mine. My body went into compete ecstasy as our lips moved in sync. It was like a million sparks were soaring through my body reminding me of the first kiss I shared with him. I knew then that no man would ever make me feel this way and August was something special. He did me down right dirty but I know he loves me. His presence, his words, and this kiss illuminated that. It's going to take time for me to trust him again but I know in my heart I belong with him.

He pulled away and placed his hand on my cheek, wiping away moist tears.

"I love you Bob."

"I love you more Slim." I whispered laughing a little.

"Come on let's go to sleep."

I nodded in agreement as he got up to cut off the lights. I laid down as he made his way behind me snaking his arms round my waist. He kissed my temple and whispered I love you once more as I instantly began drifting off.

"I love you more."

Soon after we were both sound sleep wrapped in each other's arms.

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I want to thank everyone for sticking with me through this little hiatus and I want to thank everyone who sent prayers to my cousin. I really appreciate you all, you guys are truly great! His surgery was successful and he's feeling much better aside from the soreness. Thanks again guys! Much love!