Strength

23.

Excuse any mistakes. Finals are over and I ended with a 4.0. Look at God. Zeke in the mm.

Calabasas, CA
Next morning

"Sorry for the trouble that I put you and your heart through, God knows that I'd do anything for a part two."

Lil Wayne

—

Nia is in her walk in closet, looking for something to wear to school. She's absentmindedly singing along to Sam Smith's Too Good at Goodbyes. She grabs a pink Hampton sweatshirt and slips it over her head, fluffing out her hair.

She decides on a pair of grey Adidas tights. Afterwards, she puts her braids into a high bun and lays down her edges.

  She decides to go with her natural face, adjusting her nose ring. She looks over herself in the bathroom mirror before releasing a long sigh.

    Feelings were confusing and it wasn't until now that she'd identified them. Don't they know? It's not easy taking a step forward when you don't know where your foot will fall.

Feelings made life more complicated and Nia wishes she would have known beforehand. But, there's no way to stop it. It comes out of nowhere.

"Unexpected feelings are rude." Nia says to herself.

One day, you're minding your business and boom. It hits you like a train. Now the person is invading your dreams and thoughts, clouding your judgement. It makes you question things about yourself you never would have.

It's also super uncomfortable. Why? Because it's outside your comfort zone. Nia is in unfamiliar territory, growing.

Naomi enters the bathroom, leaning her body on the door and looking at Nia. "I'm gonna stop at the hospital before we visit the group home."

      Nia looks at her mom through the mirror and nods.

"Are you going to get out? I'm sure Shiloh would like to see you."

     "He's awake?" Nia asks.

Naomi nods her head. "He woke up yesterday and has been asking for you since."

      "Um, yeah." Nia turns to leave the bathroom. "I'll go."

"What happened?"

     Nia shakes her head. "I just couldn't see him like that anymore. I couldn't help but think that maybe I'm part of the reason he's in there." Nia explains.

Naomi grabs Nia's hand. "This is the first time you've been this deeply involved in one of my cases."

Nia looks at her. "Well, kinda."

"This is nothing new, sweetie. This happens more than I would like. The mom goes back to the abusive boyfriend or husband and it's usually her in the hospital. Or worse." Naomi explains.

"You've lost women before?"

Naomi nods her head. "Unfortunately. Shiloh wants to protect his mom and sister because that's natural. You cannot blame yourself. If I'd blame myself, I would've stopped doing this years ago."