Blue Wrists

Forty

[don't worry, There will be a yoonmin smut in future! I can't leave that out hehe. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy ^-^

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PoV: Yoongi

....
I need to tell him.

There's one little thing I really need to get off my chest before making sure our love is 100% real..
But I'n so scared...

We've been together for a few months and things have been going just great..
My parents left me alone. I'm not getting bullied in school anymore and.. My mental health is not bad... I'm just happy. And so thankful towards Jimin, I'm scared that he's going to break ul with me as soon as he finds out about more of my flaws...

I don't know if there's any meaning in my life without him.. that's how much I fell for him.

"Jimin..." I mumble and sit up.
We were laying on the couch, cuddling as always.

"Hm?"

I gulp nervously.

"There is... one little thing.. one more thing that I... want you to hear." I say quiet.

"Go ahead, what is it?" he sits up as well and pets my head, looking at me.

"...Y-You.. said you're going to love me.. no matter what, right?"

He nods, making a worried expression.

"What if.. What if I-I'm... I. ." My voice disappears as I remember my childhood and the point in my life where I just fucked up.

"I mean- .. Imagine, I'd have a brother.... And.. I don't know,.. What if... I would have u-uhhh.. k-killed him? My b-b-brother.. Just imagine!.. What-"

"Oh my god, Yoongi calm down please. Everything's fine, breathe... I don't get what you're trying to say" He hugs me gently and strokes my back, which helps a little.

"Are you trying to say that you killed someone?"

My heart stops beating.

And I nod silently.

"You brother?" he asks.

".. older brother... I.. -Jimin, I swear I-I d-didn't mean to" I stutter in panic.

"Shhh, it's okay.. What happened exactly? Tell me slowly. I'm here, Yoongi, everything is fine"

I try my best to calm down. But it doesn't work out.

"... The stairs.. I-I didn't mean to, really.."

"Yoongi?"

"He was just.. He was just playing with me a-and I.. I overreacted and... When he f-fell his.. his neck-" I burst out in tears as I remember those terrifying pictures from years ago.

"What?? Did you push him or did he stumble?"

I don't wanna answer Jimin's question and shake my head desperately.
It's stressing me so much.

"Yoongi, listen. It's okay, it wasn't your fault anyway! An accident !"

"No, it wasn't!" I yell in anger. It was all my fault.
"I am the reason my parents became like this! If my brother wouldn't have died, they would.. we would just be a normal family.. But I destroyed everything. I killed their oldest son and-"

"What the- Yoongi, it's not your fault!!" he yells back at me.

"It is! I was the one who pushed him down the stairs!"