honey | min yoongi

48.

**YOONGI'S POINT OF VIEW**

"When can I see her? It's been over a month," I knew it was tough on everybody but the fact that I couldn't even see Y/N was taking a toll on me. It's been exactly 49 days since the accident, and all I know is that she's somewhere in the hospital, alive.

Everyday was a constant cry for help. I would wake up every morning looking perfectly fine, but I knew deep down that I was better off dead.

I held onto Y/N and Nami. I'm barely coping but I'm holding on tight.

"Tomorrow. We're taking you to noona tomorrow," Taehyung answered from the kitchen. "Dr. Li called this morning and told me that you can see her tomorrow but-"

"Hyung," Namjoon cut Taehyung off mid-sentence and tapped my shoulder with a pen. He was writing a song for the next album and volunteered to stay with me for as long as I needed his company. Every morning, he'd brew coffee for me, and we would discuss ideas for the album; just like before, but with less pressure. Taehyung volunteered to live with me as well, and has been there for me ever since I got out of the operating room. The others would visit everyday and sometimes, we'd spend the night altogether, with blankets and sleeping bags scattered all over my living room floor.

"What?" I asked nervously. The anticipation was killing me.

The two younger guys made eye contact, as if it wasn't already awkward, and nodded at each other. Something was definitely up, and I am not having it.

"There's something you need to know before we visit Y/N noona tomorrow," Taehyung paused and looked at me with dismay in his eyes. "You see, hyung, when noona got out of the operating room, she-"

"GET TO THE FUCKING POINT, IT'S KILLING ME!" I yelled back in terror. It was as if all the stitches on my body were reopened. It felt like dying, just imagining the worst possible thing that could happen to Y/N and Nami.

"Y/N noona was in a coma for 3 weeks. After her operation, she showed no signs of consciousness the moment they took her back to the recovery room. Nami is okay, but since noona was basically asleep for 3 weeks, Nami only got food from the IV. The doctors really did everything to monitor Nami, hyung. For the past few weeks, after noona regained her consciousness, they had to admit her into a Psychiatric ward because she wouldn't stop crying.."

At that point, my heart broke for my wife to be and our unborn daughter. What could've been an easy and exciting journey became a tragic one. This wasn't the life I promised Y/N. I failed her.

"The accident traumatized her so much that she couldn't even think straight. She would only answer or do something if it was you who told her to, so you could probably imagine how hard it was for the nurses to lie to her about things. All she would say was your name and Nami's. The worst part is that the nurses found scratch marks on her arms and thighs, and because of that, they had to put her to sleep a few times. Dr. Li gave us an update earlier and said that she's so much better now but she really needs you. Noona fought hard, hyung. And before you even say it, it's not your fucking fault so stop beating yourself up and just get ready for tomorrow."

Without another word, Taehyung stormed into his bedroom and locked the door. It was hard on Taehyung because he was very close to Y/N. He took care of me the most, and dealt with every outburst. Taehyung was gentle, and he was very patient. He had every right to feel the pain and cry. After all, he held his tears back for me and stayed strong when I couldn't do anything for myself.

"She's due in a month, hyung. Are you ready?" Namjoon asked and smiled reassuringly.

"I want to be the best husband to Y/N, and the best dad to Nami. But, I already failed them, big time."

"Yoongi hyung, life isn't about how many times you've failed. You know that, right? It hurts now, but believe me, you're their only hope, too. Don't beat yourself up too hard. No one wanted that to happen, and you know what? The day Y/N gives birth to Princess Nami, it will all make sense."

There were so many things I wanted to say but couldn't. People think that our lives are perfect, when the truth is that we suffer just like everyone else, maybe even more. What Namjoon said was right in every way but I felt incomplete. I felt so lost, and I wasn't sure of myself. How could I possibly be what they need when I couldn't even help myself?

** next day. at the hospital. **

"Jin hyung, go to the 5th floor.." Taehyung was on the phone with Seokjin who was lost somewhere in the building. He'll find his away. He always does.

Today was the day. It's been a while since I held her and when I get the chance to hold her again, there is no letting go. Not for a minute, not even at all.

"Y/N's family and friends?" A lady called out from the desk. She must be her Nurse.

"Yes," I answered. Taehyung, Seokjin and I stood up and walked to the front desk. The Nurse walked us to Y/N's room and introduced herself to us.

"Good morning! I'm Trin, and I'm Y/N's nurse. We do have an intern and I believe she's with Y/N right now! Her name's–"

"You?!"

"Anya?"

"Seok.. Kim Seokjin!"

Both Seokjin and the intern looked at each other with their jaws almost hitting the floor. The nurse intern was blushing heavily, and Seokjin looked guilty. Her name was Anya. They must have bumped into each other earlier or something, but that wasn't what had caught my attention.

"Yoongi," she spoke. Oh, how I missed her voice. "Oh my God, you're here. Yoongi."

My pretty girl.

Every step I took led me closer to her. We were walking towards each other, both from different directions, but we both knew that we would always meet in the middle; in the middle, where there is balance, and in balance, there is love.

"Hey there, pretty girl," I said, reaching my hand out for her to grab. She walked slowly but surely, and despite how scarred she was, she remained beautiful, inside and out. She's back. Y/N is finally home.

Her eyes welled up with tears the closer she got to me. I couldn't hold mine back, either. To say that I missed her so much was definitely an understatement. I longed for her in times of joy, and I longed for her in times of sorrow. One day, when you least expect it, you'll find where you belong. And to me, that was with her. In her arms, a place I call home.

Pulling her into the tightest hug I could give, I let my walls down and let it all out. She was alive, and our daughter was fighting, too. For a while, I thought that I couldn't find strength anymore, but that dark tunnel is gone now. We're looking at the sky again.

"It's okay now, you're okay," Y/N whispered softly in my ear and kissed my cheek. "We're safe."

"I'm sorry," I couldn't help it.

Y/N, being the person she was, wiped my tears with her free hand and hugged me even tighter. Her belly poked my stomach and although it was quite an awkward position, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Shh," she said. "We made it, Min Yoongi."

"You really think so?" I asked, smiling back at her. "So.. you still wanna be Mrs. Min or?" Taehyung, Trin, Jin and Anya were in tears behind us. It was the moment we've all been waiting for.

"Oh, honey," Y/N answered. "I'm ready."