ONYX(unedited;1st draft)

You're Half Of Me

Ace's POV

I remember the last time I felt genuine heart stopping fear.

It was when I was fifteen and shifted for the first time. It wasn't that day specifically at all though. It was a couple months later. I still had no control over what I was. It was a lot worse than normal wolves who go through that for a month or two.

I remember sitting in that hospital waiting room, thinking I killed my mother. That was fear. Knowing I could've taken my mother's life and had to live with it.

But not even that compares to this. Seeing her lay there, cold and still as a corpse was the most painful thing. And hearing the doctors say they have no idea what's wrong with her, planted so much fear in my heart, that I couldn't function.

I haven't worked for three days, because I had no idea what to do anymore. I didn't know I was connected to her until she fell out three days ago. When she closed her eyes, I felt like something snapped inside of me, disconnecting me from her. That's why I'm so scared, because I have no idea if she's going to wake up.

I have no idea what I'm gonna do if she doesn't.

"You haven't been here in a long time."

My mother sat next to me on the bench, but I kept staring ahead.

"It's not the same as it used to." I told her, watching a rose suddenly wither up-the red petals turning brown;dying. Just like they've been doing for the past couple of days. I swallowed hardly before saying, "Why does that seem symbolic."

She took my hand and squeezed it lightly, "Because it is." She said softly.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest that cut my breathing short. I felt her fingers on my chin, turning my head toward her, "Breathe." She said softly and I gasped, taking in a breath.

"I can't breath when she stops," I told her hoarsely.

I didn't tell any of them. This was the only way I was connected to her. Whenever she stopped breathing, it's either my hands started shaking or I stopped breathing with her.

She froze, her eyes glazing over for a moment before she looked away.

"I never told you, but," she started looking around the garden, "this place stopped growing years ago because of one reason," she looks back at me, "Back then I thought it was because your mate died, but now I know it's because she stopped shifting. I made this garden for you-both of you. It was something that I used to keep tabs on both of you since I didn't know who she was at the time. I needed to know where your futures together stood." She let's out a breath and everything was coming into place.

I never understood how my mother did some of the things she did, but I never questioned them.

"As you grew up, the small graden grew larger, stretching all the way in the woods," she said, her lips lifting at the sides in a smile as she saw the way the vines wrapped around the trees and made their paths along the forest floor, "Then animals started coming in, drinking from the fountain," she looked at the fountain in the middle of the garden that had stopped spurting water years ago. No matter how much I tried to fix it, it never did, "I remember coming here everyday, feeling content, knowing you both had a chance at something," she looks back at me, "Then one day it stopped. It's like everything froze. Nothing grew anymore and animals stopped coming here, it became completly isolated. It was a year after you'd shifted I think, so it couldn't be you, it had to be her. And I remember how hopeless you were at the time. You hated yourself for what you were and you'd always say that you didn't have a mate and even if you did you didn't want her," she rest her hand on my cheek, "I didn't have the heart to tell you she was dead and I'm happy I didn't."

I blink away the tears in my eyes, "So all this to say she's gonna die." She didn't reply, "Just say it."

She shook her head, "I can't." Her eyes started watering, "I won't. Because the last time I thought she was dead, she was nowhere near it."

I let out a humorless laugh, "Mom, it's pretty clear now isn't it?" I retorted, pulling back and her hand fell from my face, "Years ago, everything froze, you said it yourself, they stopped growing and now they're dying. One by one they're all dying."

She crossed her legs and turned to me fully, "I've learned over the years that you're a very unpredictable creature Killian. I'm not going to tell you, based on a garden, that she's going to die."

I let out a breath, reaching up to run a hand down my face. I turn my attention back to the garden, my eyes drawning to a set of roses wrapped around a tree. My jaw locked when they all browned and withered before falling forward.

"Well, I can't say it's a coincidence," I got up. I needed to see her.

"Have you ever thought that when you shifted and went to that river, it wasn't to kill her?"

I stopped and turned back to her. She didn't turn to look at me, but had her arm propped up on the back of the bench with her hand on her cheek.

I walked back around the bench stiffly, watching her. She looked up at me with a smile.

"You don't think I didn't notice did you? You were fourteen Killian, not a ninja."

I let out a laugh at that, not being able to hold it back.

"I followed you after I caught on to your pattern of going missing for five hours after school every Friday," she explains, "And I saw you with her, didn't think anything of it. I did however notice that you gave her all the gold pieces your grandfather gave you." She gave me a look.

I smiled sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of my head, "Not all of them. Just... most of it."

She smiled, nodding but I could tell she wasn't convinced, "But what if you weren't there to kill her?"

"I was killing everybody else," I voiced.

"That you were," she pointed at me as if that something great, "But not her. What if your wolf already knew who she was to you, but you didn't?" She said and I frowned, thinking about it. She got up, adjusting her dress, "Like I said, you're very unpredictable." She took a step toward me, staring intensely, "You haven't tested your limits because you're scared of what you can do. Remember you're half of me, Killian." Her eyes glowed a vivid red, then she wasn't there.

"Half her," I muttered to myself, then stumbled back, "I'm half of her!"