Amelie Howell-Lester ~ Adopted by Phan

Alex, Alex Bell

Francesca went home so me Dan and Phil went into Vidcon to explore since I hadn't been in the properly. I was skipping ahead and smiling at everyone that went past. "Dads' look!," I said pointing at the Dan and Phil booth. "It is amazing!," I squealed as I clap my hands excitedly. "Hello Daniel, Philip and Amelie!," The person running it said with a small smile on her face. "Hey Dani! Can we run it for a bit?," Dan asked with a smile over his face. "Sure. I am going to Starbucks. Want anything?," She said opening the gate for us. "Okay, can I get a latte please?," I ask shyly whilst handing money over being soon being rejected. "It is fine I can pay Amelie," She smiled as she walked out. 

So many fans came to our booth and were so happy to see Dan and Phil. I sometimes went in photos but I just let Dan and Phil run it. "Dad!," I called out to one of them. "Yes Mimi?," Phil called back. "I am going for a walk!," I shouted back. "Okay be back in half an hour please!," Phil replied so I walked out and opened my camera. "Hey guys! I am so sorry I didn't vlog yesterday but today I met my internet friend! Her name is Francesca and she is amazing! I know she will be watching this so I love you. You are an amazing human and we need to break the distance again. I luv you with all my tiny heart. Anyway at the moment I am walking around Vidcon as my Dad's are running a stall so I decided to show you lot if you couldn't come the amazing place of Vidcon!," I said laughing as random strangers were glaring at me. I was recording random parts as I suddenly run into someone. "I am so sorry," I said stepping back and seeing the person I had rudely run into. Jesus. The guy looked around my age. His eyes were a flashing blue colour with light brown hair. "Hey I am Alex and you are?," He smiled at me. "Oh Hi I am Amelie. Sorry about that by the way. Let me turn of the camera," I turn off the camera and he was looking at me. Jesus why the fuck is his so cute.... stop Amelie it is a stranger. "Oh a vlogger?," He smiled as I nodded. "Yea my Dads' taught me how to do YouTube," "Oh yeah? I saw you in a booth with Dan and Phil. Are you there adopted daughter?," I giggled. "Yes I am!," "Oh okay! I was going to tweet you but I can say it now. I am a YouTuber as well. I am AlexBell_. I also live in London so maybe we could do a collab?," Alex said pushing his hair behind his ear. "Sure! Here is my number!," I say handing him a piece of paper with my number on it. We talk for ages and I didn't even see the time "Oh shit I have to go I will text you later bye Amelie!," Alex said and then sprinting out the room. I peer down at my watch and swear. Three hour late. I opened up my phone to see many missed calls and messages from my Dad's. I can't tell them that I meet Alex so I need an excuse. I was in line for something for over a 3 hours? I was eating? I don't even know. 

RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Speak of the devil. It is Daniel Howell...

A: Hey Dad! 

Well that was awkward.

D: Amelie Howell-Lester where are you?

A: Starbucks

Okay I lied. Now I need to RUN to starbucks.

D: No you are not. Send us a picture

A: I can't my phone is dead.

D: Amelie you are texting us.... on your phone. Now were are you?

A:Like I fucking said Dad starbucks!!

D: AMELIE! 1 Don't talk to me like that and two we are in the only starbucks

Shit.

A: I urm......

D: Amelie hotel room now....

A: Yes Dad

I literally screamed, "FOR FUCKS SAKE!," Out loud. I knew that I was going to be dead.

Zoe and Marzia tried stopping me but I pushed them away as I sprint onto our floor. "Sorry guys!," I shouted. I knocked slowly so they knew it was me and an angry and upset Dan opened the door. "In," He said glaring at me. I gulped and sat in my room. I wanted to ignore them so I plugged myself in to my headphones. How could you leave us by NF came on. I love it so much. NF's mum was like my Mum. I couldn't stop her. I started to sing it with tears bubbling inside of me. 

How could you leave us so unexpected?
We were waiting, we were waiting
For you but you just left us
We needed you, I needed you

Yo, I don't know what it's like to be addicted to pills
But I do know what it's like to be a witness it kills
Mama told me she love me, I'm thinking this isn't real
I think of you when I get a whiff of that cigarette smell, yeah
Welcome to the bottom of hell
They say pain is a prison, let me out of my cell
You say you proud of me, but you don't know me that well
Sit in my room, tears running down my face and I yell
Into my pillowcases, you say you coming to get us
Then call 'em a minute later just to tell us you not, I'm humiliated
I'm in a room with a parent that I don't barely know
Some lady in the corner watching us, while she taking notes
I don't get it mom, don't you want to watch your babies grow?
I guess that pills are more important, all you have to say is no
But you won't do it will you? You gon' keep popping 'til those pills kill you
I know you gone but I can still feel you

Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us here?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Oh, Hey

I got this picture in my room and it kills me
But I don't need a picture of my mom, I need the real thing
Now a relationship is something we won't ever have
Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had?
You shoulda been there when I graduated
Told me you love me and congratulations
Instead you left us at the window waiting
Where you at mom? We're too young to understand where you at huh?
Yeah, I know those drugs got you held captive
I can see it in your eyes, they got your mind captured
Some say it's fun to get the high but I am not laughing
What you don't realise and what you not grasping
That I was nothing but a kid who couldn't understand
I ain't gon' say that I forgive you cause it hasn't happened
I thought that maybe I feel better as time passes
If you really cared for me, then where you at then?

Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Hey

Our last conversation, you and I sat in the living room
Talking 'bout my music and I brought you something to listen to
You started crying, telling me this isn't you
Couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune
You took them pills for the last time, didn't you?
They took you from us once, guess they came back to finish you
Crying my eyes out in the studio is difficult
Music is the only place that I can go to speak to you
It took everything inside of me to not scream at your funeral
Sitting in my chair, that person talking was pitiful
I wish you were here mama but every time I picture you
All I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you
They found you on the floor, I could tell that you felt hollow
Gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
You gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
Don't know if you hear me or not, but if you still watching why

Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Hey

By the end all the tears I had kept inside of years came flooding out. I could of stopped my Mum from taking drugs, she then wouldn't of hurt me, we would be in a happy family, none of my family would of died. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WAS MY FAULT. I turned around and screamed into my pillow forgetting that Dan and Phil were in the other room and then Zoe and Alfie were in the room next door. "I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!," I screamed. Dan and Phil hate me. Zoe and Marzia hate me. Some of my Dad's fans hate me. My parents hated me. I have no point in the world. I heard a gentle knock on the door. "Mimi?," I couldn't respond. "C-c-c-c-c-come I-I-I-I-I-I-I-in," I finally choked out. "Mimi are you okay?," I just nodded. "Your voice is beautiful even when you are sad," He smiled sitting next to me on the bed. "I am a let down," I whispered as Phil pulled me in for a Dad hug. "I am sorry Dad. I let you and Dad down. Marzia and Zoe hate me My biological parents hate me. Everyone at school hates me. You and Dad hate me," Phil's face went white as I said this. "Amelie we don't hate you. You know how Dan is. He is an over-protective Dad and gets angry.... a lot. He wants you to be safe and not out for another 3 hours without telling us, Anyway what was you doing?," He said looking at my ugly face. "I was talking to someone about YouTube and lost track of time until the person mentioned that they had to leave," I said. Me and Phil were still in our hug. "Where is Dad?," "He went for a walk to calm down. We didn't expect you to come back 3 hours late," He laughed. "Are you angry at me?," I said looking at him with my puppy dog eyes since that always works. "A little bit bu-," We got interrupted by the door opening.