MultiFandom Imagines

If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Shut Your Mouth (Spideypool)

Srsly, this is a Deadpool fic, what do you expect from me? Fluff? I never. Also, about this stupid stuff with people finding this ship gros bc Peter is "underage" that's only homecoming spidey, in the comics, he is older, therefore, it is legal. Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

Warnings: Gay shit, heavy make out sessions, little bit of grinding, food-sex puns, implied sex, sub-dom, hickeys, bREaKiNg oF thE 4Th wALl

Peter's POV

"What should we have for lunch?" I shouted from the kitchen. Wade came into the room and cocked his head to the side, "Isn't it obvious though? I thought you'd know by now. Even the person reading this knows." I shared the look of confusion, "What do you mean?" He made his way over to me, "Don't you sell hot dogs?" I got even more confused, "What? Why would you think that I sell hot dogs?" He smirked, "Because you know how to make a wiener stand." I rolled my eyes and began to walk away. "Well, if you don't work a hot dog stand, you must work at Subway." I sighed, "Are you gonna say because I'm a bottom or something?" He shrugged, "Maybe. Or maybe I asked because you're giving me a footlong."

I made my way to the front door, hoping he would ditch the cheesy pick up lines. But, of course, we don't always get what we want. As soon as I grabbed my jacket, he shoved me against the wall and held my arms above my head. "Now I know what's on the menu. Me-n-u." I gulped at how close our faces were. "Are you only speaking in food puns?" He chuckled, "Only because you're the only one that is hoggin' (Häagen) my Das." I would've scolded him but dammit, he was getting into my head and kept me in place against the wall.

Third POV

Wade leaned in and got into a heated make out session with the shorter man. As they continued, Peter felt his boyfriend softly grind against him and let out a quiet moan. Wade smirked, "You like that, don't you?" Peter gulped. "Wade, I have to go make lunch." He rolled his eyes, "I'm not even hungry right now. Not for food anyway."

Peter's POV

I slipped out of his grip and walked over to the kitchen. I quickly started on making some sandwiches, hoping I will look busy enough that he won't bother me. "Look, why don't we just get Pizza Hut instead? I wanna stuff your crust anyways." That stupid condescending smirk he wore on his face was finally gone. He seemed more frustrated than usual. Hopefully he was frustrated enough to not notice the blush that crept across my face and wasn't going any time soon.

Wade's POV

I noticed his cheeks turned a dark crimson color. It all clicked, He's enjoying this isn't he? I decided to further tease him. But I'm not using the puns anymore, oh no. This time, I'm going in. (not) Straight. Physical. Teasing. "Hey, can you toast my bread?" He nodded and put two slices into the toaster. As soon as he put it in, I took my opportunity. "Whew, is it just me or is the heat making it really hot in here? We need to get a new toaster." I said as I proceeded to slip off my black and red chimichanga shirt. I could feel his gaze on my bare chest but decided against pointing it out.

"So Peter, do you have any buns I can put my dog in?" His eyes widened, "What?!" I used all of my willpower and strength to not laugh right there and give him the most confused face I could muster up. "I meant for dinner. We were gonna have hot dogs right? I was just making sure you bought the hot dog buns. This is a family friendly chapter, sir, the reader and I would greatly appreciate it if you got your mind out of the gutter." He gulped and looked back down to his sandwich he had yet to touch. "Aren't you gonna eat your sandwich?" He nodded, "R-Right. Yeah." He slowly put the food up to his lips and took the biggest bite he could muster up, which was incredibly tiny considering how big the sandwich and his usual bite size were. "Oh, wait, I think you squeezed the mustard a bit too hard. You have some right here." I went straight for his neck and began nipping and sucking on his sweet spot, emitting a groan from him. I looked at him innocently, "Better."

I expected him to easily fall back under my control, I expected him to be very submissive. What I didn't expect was him to suddenly shove me against the wall and growl as I let out a pleasured and painful whimper. "You aren't going to stop teasing me, are you?" I gulped, liking this new side of him, "For the sake of the reader's interest and the author's chapter length, no." He chuckled darkly, "Looks like I'll have to put you in your place myself."

??(Literally anyone you want that is a friend or close to Peter) POV

I was sitting on my couch, yet again contemplating my life long agony when an idea popped into my head. 'Why don't I go visit my favorite person in the world, Peter Parker?' I got into my car and drove over to the house that him and his boyfriend, Wade, lived in together. I opened the door, as Peter usually doesn't care whether I come in or not, and heard a thump. My instincts kicked in and I immediately ran to the noise but only found Peter and Wade partially naked, only in their socks and underwear, making out against the closed closet door. "Peter! What- Nevermind, I'm outta here!"

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Hallo peoples, this is the first thing close to smut that I've ever WRITTEN. But I read a lot of it so I got a pretty good idea of how it goes. Hope you enjoyed.