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#dontjudge

#dontjudge

So, here's why reading the Troyler fic was a bad idea: My cousin (not Emily from fanfiction.net) was sitting next to me, playing Minecraft and talking to herself like all wanna-be youtubers do. And I'm sitting here reading this fic, not making a peep, just letting my cousin chat to herself to fill the suffocating silence.

Then, suddenly, I suck in a breath, and she snaps her head around to look at me. I glance up at her, and she's giving me this 'what-the-heck,-I-thought-you-were-dying' kind of face, and I just look back down at my fic and keep reading.

THEN TROYE DIED.

I literally screamed.

My cousin looks over at me really quickly and goes, “Dude, are you okay?”

And I shake my head 'no' and start pouting, trying to hold back tears. And then Tyler, in the story, writes this diary entry which is super long. Basically, this sums it up: “I know it was my fault that Troye tried to kill himself. He didn't want to live in the same world as Tyler Oakley. He hates me. I want him to be able to live his life. So I guess I'll just have to end mine.” And Tyler leaves the diary entry in Troye's hands, because Troye came back to life in an earlier chapter but immediately fell into a coma for three months, and Tyler had just given up. He leaves to go get a gun and kill himself.

This is when I started sobbing.

Again, my cousin stops her talking and glances over at me, and there's this awkward silence. She's goes back to talking to herself after a while.

AND THEN TROYE CAME BACK TO LIFE, LIKE, THREE SECONDS AFTER TYLER WENT TO KILL HIMSELF! AND HE READS THE NOTE, AND HE'S ALL LIKE, “NO! TYLER, I DON'T HATE YOU, I LOVE YOU!” And he sends his family on a hunt to find Tyler before it's too late.

I won't spoil the ending.

But I'm not kidding when I say my feels exploded, like, thirty times in that one hour that I was reading the fic. I cried. HARD. I hardly ever do that because of a fic.

Note to self: do not read Troyler fics as an attempt to make yourself feel better. :/

Baii.