santana and brittany

shining star

brittany's point of view

shining star comes out in two days and santana is really on edge.

she deleted all posts on twitter and instagram and changed her username to 'santanaaa'. she posted the promo for her song, i posted it, rachel and quinn posted it, blaine posted it, and sotheby's rest of our friends and family posted it. when republic record posted it, she went from two thousand follower to four thousand, then five thousand, and now she's a 6.1k.

you know when you hear about a new celebrity or artist you look them up to see what they're about? yeah. well they found the sex tape.

and they weren't happy.

i secretly think that's why she has so many followers.

so, our tape was floating around, which also gave me some fame because everyone wanted to know who the blonde was. so my thousand went up to two thousand. but, thankfully, they were able to hide the tape and people no longer think we're porn stars who are trying to make it in the music business.

anyways, back to santana being on edge. she's always on her phone, looking at what people are saying about the promos. you would think that santana lopez wouldn't give a shit about something mean that's written by a nobody and you're right, but she still likes to see what they're saying.

santana's on edge is different than ours. or hers is different than mine.

in the last three weeks we tried having sex once and while it was happening i wasn't getting anything from santana. no emotion, no sound, no nothing. her eyes were just closed and every since then we haven't been intimate.

when she's on edge, she doesn't exactly feel...sexy? i don't know if that's how you explain it. she doesn't like to hug or kiss or cuddle of do anything that's close to intimate because she doesn't feel like herself. she didn't have to tell me this. i just know.

there's plenty other signs of her being on edge but i don't wanna bore you with the details and that's probably the biggest one.

i don't like going to sleep without telling santana goodnight or knowing that she's in the house. it's almost twelve at night and santana's been out all day preparing for friday.

the song comes out 12 a.m. friday morning, so i'm gonna surprise her thursday night with our own release party. her parents and abuela are flying in and they're gonna stay with us for the weekend.

lady tubbington is very slick. she's much smaller than lord so she can hide under the bed and behind couches and she's always near santana. she likes me but she loves tana.

right as soon as she gets home, lady follows her around everywhere. to the bathroom when she showers, to the kitchen when she cooks, in the living room when she watches tv, and in the bed when we go to sleep. it's not a problem because it's not like we're having sex.

what if santana doesn't love me anymore? what if our love has completely died down? things have just been so different between us and i hardly see her. i just miss being the santana and brittany from high school. we're no longer in the honeymoon stage and now i feel like we've been married for a long time when it's only been four months.

is it over for us? not relationship over but cute over? like, are we done being young? *gasps* are we adults?

the front door open and lady looks up at me before jumping off the bed to greet tana.

"my baby! how are you?" i hear santana ask from the kitchen

a few minutes later, santana walks in the bedroom with lady in her arms.