sadness became me when everyone was gone

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unnoticed and unwanted, sadness crept into me as i sat on the couch being talked down to. sadness cleared out a spot to sit down and began digging. i didn't feel it then, but i sure do feel it now. and it hurts. sadness must have started a fire in that deep, dark hole, because i feel little explosions all around me. i am in a constant state of rebirthing and deflating. i could fracture at any moment. and sadness has carefully placed fragmented tear drops behind my eyelids, so when i open them, they splinter out of me. sadness missed me, we haven't seen each other in a long while. unwanted sadness sleeps in my heart, and i scratch at my chest hoping to dig it out while it's unconscious. constantly hoping to let it go because we don't need each other like we used to. but sadness is so clingy, so insecure, and the hole keeps on getting deeper and deeper. wider and wider. i don't have any excess feelings to fill it up with. everything is missing from me. friends are dissipating away, lovers are becoming uninterested, family is getting fed up. i am becoming alone. that's why sadness crept in, tip toeing it's way up to my spine, gripping it gently, telling me i am no longer alone with this newfound weight. sadness noticed, and sadness was the only one who noticed. sadness held my hand when everyone was gone. sadness hurt me when everyone was gone. sadness felt me when everyone was gone. sadness became me when everyone was gone. sadness became me when everyone was gone. sadness became me when everyone was gone.

r.k.

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