Meathead Monologue

pity mistaken for kindness

i don't need the pity you gift to me through our brief hand touches.
i don't need you to make me smile just because of my stoic face.
if you find my shyness cute, you should get to know the real me;
then i'd ask if you still think the freak that swells inside of me is cute.
there are things a boy like you should never know about a girl like me.
frankly, i would like to keep it that way.
but your eyes are loud and they are like a lions,
preying on a helpless animal.
i just hope you don't make things wrong when i see you next week.
i just hope we can still smile and wave like normal.
i never wanted this, i never wanted to see you like that, so please stop.
i will thank you time and time again, but i will tell you more than anything-
i do not need your pity.
if you're going to like me, get to know me first.
i would like for you to see the inner being that i am instead of the outer shell of a quiet girl.
i want everyone to see the real me,
but despite my desires, i will hide.
i will hide behind the curtains i have hung and
stay inside of my shell.
because i can thrive there.
and i don't need your pity that you mistake for kindness.
i don't need pity that is mistaken for kindness.
thank you, i'm sorry.

r.k.