The Sound of Silence 2 // H.S.

23

"Carolina" - Harry Styles

Nikki's POV

I sat in a conference room at a hotel in Kingston with my management team along with representatives from my label. Much to my dismay, I was still being forced to release my album this year. I tried pushing it back to January or February of next year, but November 18th of this year was set in stone by my label. Releasing an album on birthday would be a first.

"With a November release that gives people a good chunk of time to buy and listen to the album. They want you touring by March of next year. Also, this way you and Harry won't be on tour at the same time." My manager winked at me. He gets me. Ironically, Harry and I had a conversation about touring this morning.

He had woken me up with kisses, knowing that was I going to forget to set my alarm. I had meetings with my management team today. Harry took a mental note and set an alarm to wake him up in order to wake me up. I was suffering from a serious case of Harry brain and all my sense of responsibility had gone out the window since coming to Jamaica. He enjoys being the responsible one.

When I opened my eyes, I was met with his worried green ones.

"I've seen the bruises on your thighs. When you hurt yourself, it hurts me too."

I have self destructed for so much of my life that sometimes I do it without a second thought. The darkness is my comfort zone. I don't know how to be in the light, but with my Harry holding me tight it's as if I could fly.

"Sorry..." It was the only response I could come up with.

"I know." He kisses my forehead. "Please don't shut me out. I've been trying to be patient. I know there's something you're not telling me."

I mold myself up against his body. It wasn't my intention to make him feel this way. He's incredibly intuitive. I should've known that he would know that I was withholding information and it was only because I didn't want him to worry.

My family was my problem, not his.

Through my hazy overthinking mind, I realize that I've gone about it all wrong. Old habits die hard.

I dared to look up at his face, my heart nearly breaking at his worried eyes. He scanned over my face like he was searching for something.

"Angel, we're...okay, right?"

"Harry, we're better than okay. I fall more in love with you everyday...if that's even possible at this point." I smile softly. "I've only been falling apart when I'm without you. Maybe I'm too dependent on you or maybe I really need you. You help me forget shit because you're this ray of light and it blinds me. I can't see anything else when I'm with you." I babble on as usual when I'm trying to get my point across.

"Wow. Obsessed much?"

I gawk at him and smack him hard on the shoulder.

"Ouch, hey HEY! I'm only kidding, love. You're used to being independent and I'm used to depending on others. To hear you say that you need me is the most wonderful feeling. I don't want you falling apart on me, though. You're stronger than that."

"I won't be able to do it like before."

"Do what, darling?"

"Not seeing you for months at a time. I know we'll obviously be working in different places at times, but I can't go three to six months without you anymore."

I felt pathetic. Am I addicted to Harry like cocaine? Is it normal to want to be around someone this much? Our lives are anything but normal, though. Perhaps this is progress. I want to be around the one I love now instead of run off and isolate myself.