*MATURE CONTENT* I fell to my knees before her. She couldn't even look at me. I was absolutely lost without her. I kissed the insides of her wrists over the tattoos that were etched in my handwriting.
"I only want two things in this world-you and u...
Author's Note: Next chapter will be posted soon after this one. My BPD has been really fucking awful. I'm sorry updates are lacking, but I'm trying. :( I'm also sorry for my First Grade level writing.
Nikki's POV
February 5, 2017 London, UK I'm Still Here Tour
I'm nervous.
It's not the exciting kind of nervous that comes before putting on a show. It's the dreadful kind of nervous that something terrible might happen. I won't feel any sort of relief until the evil lurking in Harry and I's lives has been purged.
I'm trying to be positive. This should be an exciting time. I've been working my ass off and my fans deserve the very best. No matter the circumstances, the show must go on.
When in doubt, I playback my dear friend, Alexander McQueen's words of encouragement and at times, tough love like a cassette tape that I rewind as my mantra before every show.
"No one ever sees the queen when she's weak. The show must go on."
"Look at you. You look absolutely terrifying. Perfect! I want my designs to make you feel empowered."
"Nice girls finish last my queen, let me see your nasty."
"Stand up straight. I didn't design this for you to slouch in it! You're lucky you're my favorite."
I smile to myself in my dressing room. I wish he was still here. My boots for tonight's show were custom made for me by McQueen for my 19th birthday. I never wore them for fear of getting them ruined, but I need to feel empowered tonight.
Thank fuck they still fit after ten years.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I'm currently sitting upside down on the couch, eye closed, with my feet against the wall tapping the magical boots together for good luck.
There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
My earbuds are in with my infinite ASMR playlist on repeat to keep myself semi calm. I skipped over turning on my aromatherapy infuser and decided to burn some incense instead.
A cigarette sounds amazing right now. My skin tingles at the thought or maybe it's the ASMR.
Maybe cigarettes just make me tingle.
Cool fingertips suddenly gliding gently across my scalp relax deem to be more effective than anything. I don't even care if it messes up my hair. I smile, because I might not care, but my doting boyfriend carefully patting down the areas he's messed up certainly does care.
Harry moves my headphones off my ears.
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
I open my eyes to see his eyes sparkling down at me with amusement.
