Peter Parker Funny Moments

Peter Meets the Avengers

Peter didn't expect to see or hear from the Avengers ever again after the accords. He thought that Tony would smash that flip phone into pieces and catch Steve Rogers and his betraying "he's my friend" ass. But he didn't. He kept that dreaded flip phone. He let Steve break out the Rouge-Avengers. Peter didn't like it. Under the arrogant and snarky mask he puts on for the media, Tony is a kind man who many people have tried to take advantage of. 

So imagine his surprise when Peter heard Tony was trying to re-write the accords and pardon the Rouge-Avengers. Peter was livid, he wanted to tell Tony he trusted these guys too easily, he's being too kind, they only want to use him, he is too heroic, but he didn't. He supported Tony in his decision but did everything he could to keep tabs on his progress and protect Tony. He knew Tony could fend for himself, be he is reckless and makes impulse decisions WAY too often. (I mean he gave his address to a terrorist. Like what were you thinking?)

So that's how Peter got here, riding up the lift, having no clue that the Rouge-Avengers and Tony were having a meeting in the penthouse kitchen. The lift opened and Peter stepped into the living room. 

Tony heard the lift ding and knew it was Peter. "Hold on for a sec." he told everyone, exiting the kitchen and going to the living room. Peter lit up when he saw Tony.

"There's only one race, the human race." Peter announced.

Tony pretended to slap Peter. "What about Nascar?" Tony asked. The duo laughed, Peter introduced Tony to vines and memes and he was hooked right away. Now Pepper has two annoying children to take care of, three when Shuri visits.

"Hey kid, before we go to the lab you should do your homework." Tony said.

"Okay, dad." Peter said sarcastically. He walked up the stairs and to Tony's floor to do his homework. 

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Peter finished his homework and he was hungry. He decided that he would quickly warm up some leftover pizza before going to the lab with Tony. He walked into the kitchen and froze. He saw the Rouge-Avengers just casually sitting at the table. Tony was nowhere to be found.

"Who are you?" Steve asked as all the Rouge-Avengers got into a defensive position, ready to attack.

"Oh. My. God. I just want some pizza and I encounter the man who almost killed my mentor." Peter whined. "Just wonderful!" He said sarcastically.

The Rouge-Avengers looked confused. Who was this kid? Why was he not freaking out? Who is his mentor? Why is he insulting them? These questions swarmed their minds as the kid confidently strode to the fridge, not intimidated at all by the Rouge-Avengers.

Clint shot an arrow at Peter, but what surprised him was that he caught the arrow. "H-how?" Clint asked, too shocked to say anything else. He never missed! Who was this kid?

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Peter responded. MJ was rubbing off on him, he thought. He had grown so much confidence since he met Tony and Pepper and became friends with MJ, or as she says, gracing him and Ned with her presence. 

Peter's spidey sense spiked and he ducked, looking up to see Captain America's shield on the floor and a big dent in the wall. He spun around to face the Rouge-Avengers. "Oh, it is on." he growled. This would be fun...and revenge on Steve and Bucky for leaving Tony to die in Siberia.

Peter was about to fight when Tony entered the room, sipping coffee. He stopped when he saw the Rouge-Avengers about to attack Peter. "What the fuck is going on?!" Tony shouted. He heard a quiet 'language' from Steve.

"I went to get some leftover pizza before I go down to the lab with you and these dickbags were here and Birdman over here shot me." Peter said, pointing to Clint. "Then Captain 'he's my friend' threw his shield at me."

Tony sighed and facepalmed. "I forgot to tell you about them." he mumbled.

"Who is this kid? Your fake son? You sit around in your tower with him while we were on the run?" Sam asked. He was still mad about the Civil War and was intentionally rude. Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Nat were tense, but respected Tony. Wanda was a little wary but was grateful for Tony. Scott was neutral, not really knowing what went on with the Accords anyway.

Tony was about to respond, but Peter got to it first. He slammed his hands on the table, almost breaking it. 

"Who do you think you are?!" he shouted. 

"A hero, unlike you." Sam snarled.

"Guess what, while you were on the run like cowards, Mr. Stark and I were cleaning up your mess! Mr. Stark has been working his ass off to keep Ross of your trail AND get you pardoned! I had to catch a weapons dealer who sold alien tech from YOUR battle with Loki. I accidentally split a ferry in half, I had a building dropped on me, I crashed on a plane, I was burned to a crisp to clean up YOUR mess while YOU were cowards who ignored the headlines and ran away! So you can't judge how heroic I am." Peter ranted, panting hard, his eyes filled with fury.

"Let's go, Mr. Stark." Peter said, grabbing Tony's hand and dragging him down to the lab.

"This kid is Spider-Man?!?!"