Delicious Rose

43

Luca

Her hair as bright as the sun, her skin as golden. I watch her chest rapidly move up and down, as she leans up against the wall next to the window. She looks incredible, almost too incredible. She's grown up so much, she's not a vulnerable twenty-one-year-old girl, she's a mature woman. I can see the change in her.

When Darcy stood on my foot last night, I was sure I recognised her, with her long auburn hair it took a while to process who she was. But when I did, I just knew Rose was here and she was. The way she was looking at me, her beautiful blue eyes wide with so many mixed emotions I nearly died on the spot. I could see the pain in them, the pain she felt when she looked into mine. The hate she has for me.

I don't know why I'm being so arrogant, almost cruel, I'm trying to protect her. She's still hurt, I left her without saying goodbye and I will always regret that. She seems happy though? She ended up with Jacob, the one guy I was jealous of from the night I met her. He didn't deserve her I thought, but he's a good guy, she deserves the best. I think he is the best for her.

Watching her smoke is almost angelic, she looks flawless and she always has done. I feel like I've just met her for the first time, taking in every inch of her, she's exquisite. I haven't seen her face in so long, I refuse to look her up on social media, I refuse to look at anyone I knew in London, not even that dickhead Nick. I'm happy here, I love my life here. My work has skyrocketed and I'm proud of my achievements and I don't want to stop.

I met Kiara, she's smart, funny and beautiful and it feels amazing to have someone around me who cares so much. Just watching Rose though, has struck a nerve that I began to bury deep down inside me. That scares me to death, I'm content with everything now and it took a long time to get over everything. Rose is here, I don't know what I'm going to do when she leaves. I know nothing will ever happen, but in this moment right now I know I will always love her. I just can't let her know, she's finally happy with the life she has. I can't ruin her again. And that tattoo on her wrist, that quote means something to her I know it.

I watch for a few more seconds as she puts her cigarette out and walks back into the restaurant. She doesn't say anything as she picks up her fork and begins eating, I taste my food, everything is now cold, but I still eat it anyway.
"Do you still live in London?" I ask, trying to make some kind of conversation between us, I study her as she chews her food before placing her fork back on the plate.

"No, I moved just over a year ago, I live in Petts wood just outside London." She's calm, no eye contact made though.

"Why did you move?" I ask, taken back that she would leave the city.

"I needed to get away, I still work at the publishers, I just couldn't live in London." She closes her eyes, like she remembers something? Why did she need to leave?

"Did something happen?" I ask carefully, I know I don't have a right to ask anymore. She has every right to hate me, but she's still here. Her eyes open, blue orbs trailing from the table up to my eyes slowly, there's evident pain and I know something bad happened.

"Wayne found me or have you forgotten who he is as well?" She snaps, I nod my head. I deserved that, my nerves are building up though. I do remember Wayne, her disgusting step dad. I clench my knuckles under the table, trying to keep calm.
Of course I remember everything Rose, every detail about you.

"He was harassing me over text, one night he attacked me, in the girls' toilets at a bar." Her face flushed. It's like somethings clicked inside me, I want to yell, scream and punch fucking everything. My adrenaline hitting the roof, imagining his disgusting hands on her. My body shaking with pure rage.