Rules(Jenlisa)

Rules XXVI

Jennie's Point Of View

Jennie is that true? What Hanbin told me?

Are you at your house? I will stop by just talk to me, please.

Jennie please talk to me

Please..

I miss you, I miss you so much. I love you.

I tightened my grip to my phone when I saw Lisa's messages.

A tear escaped from my eyes, I miss her. I miss her so so much and seeing her miserable kills me, I know she's hurting, she's hurting so bad but I can't do anything about it.

I feel like everything I do is wrong, I don't know where to place myself, but I think this is the right thing to do.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I felt Hanbin put his hand on my shoulder. I didn't answer his question, I just stayed in silence and do exactly nothing.

"Ahh.. Jen you want to go dinner date tonight?"

"Ah.... ahm There's so many things that I need to do for school."

"What? Jen, we are classmates. Last time I check we don't have any projects or what?"

I shook my head. "It's a special project, I need to pass it tomorrow or next next day."

"Oh. I see."

Hanbin continued to tell stories but here I am staring at my phone, I want to reply badly to Lisa's messages, I really do. But I think answering her or talking to her can't help her move on. This will just gonna give her hopes that we still have a chance and I don't want that to happen, I don't want to make her hopes up on impossible things. I will not show any emotions towards her for her easy process to move on.. I will do that even if it means hurting myself. I think I will get used to the pain I once felt until it will completely vanish like how shakespear said: feel the pain until it hurts no more.

I will just endure the pain, until it gets numb. I want to be numb now by the way.

"Jen, are you listening?" I got back to my senses when I felt Hanbin tapping my shoulder.

"A..ahm w-"

"You are spacing out.. Again." What's new anyways? Spacing out is now my personal hobby. It's happening more often

"Is that because of those projects? I can help you to do that, you know?"

I shook my head still looking down. "No, I can do it myself. Don't worry about me, worry about yourself."

I get stiff when he suddenly hug me. "T.. thank y.. you Jennie." He mumbled.

I let him hug me, there's no harm for this. I got a little bit surprised when he mumbled another three words. "I love you." I just tap his back not knowing what to say, cause yeah I don't love him, I love Lisa. He is not Lisa so how can I say I love you too if I didn't mean it?

~•~

"Ma'am, here's the project." I submit the project I've done last night.

"Oh, why did you pass me this? Where is she?" I got nervous for seconds, wait what will I reason this time?

"Ahm.. She went out to buy something, she just inform me to pass this ma'am." The professor nod and utter an. "Okay, Thank you miss Kim."