Persona

CHAPTER XXIV: 24th of December

"So how do I look?" I shyly spinned around for HaeNa to get a better view of how she dressed me up tonight

"You look splendid!" She squealed "I'm so glad I had that extra dress that was supposed to be for the event" She went to get her make up kit but, as soon as she saw my face she looks quite concerned

"What's wrong?" She noticed the not so happy look on my face.

"I don't know HaeNa... I really don't feel like going out tonight..." I sat down feeling like removing my new heels and just sleep

"Hey, I noticed you've been so down lately and maybe this can make you feel lighter. You'll be going with him tho. Doesn't that make you happy?"

"We're going to Seoul HaeNa...just so you know"

"But, still. You can only overcome the pain of the past if you top it with beautiful memories" She began to retouch my make up and sort of failing to cheer me up

I know I'll be going with JungKook and that makes me happy but, this time I feel like it's just forced happiness...

I don't know if I'm still happy going with him...

*honk*

"We'll that's your cue to go" She stood up and looked out the window "Don't forget to retouch yourself from time to time ok? Now you go and enjoy" She led me to the door

"I'll try" I put up a faint smile and went out going to the familiar car and the familiar guy. But the feeling, isn't much familiar

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"Is something bothering you?" JungKook suddenly asked making me flinch "this seems so unlike you"

Well, the entire car ride earlier was in complete silence and now that we already arrived, I guess he wanted to finally break the ice

"I'm fine" I chuckled a little and unbuckled my seatbelt and about to go out but, what he said next made me halt my actions

"That's a relief,  I thought I can't enjoy the party"

"What do you mean?" I asked in a monotonous tone.

"You know, if you're not in the mood then I can't enjoy the party because I'll be worrying  about you more" He nonchalantly replied as if it was ok

"Oh I'm very sorry JungKook if I could be the reason why you can't really go out partying tonight. I guess I'll be going back home" I went out and tried to hail a taxi

I was pissed. How could he say that as if it's going to be my fault if this night doesn't work out for him?
He got the guts to say that without knowing how I feel just by steping on the soil of Seoul.

He have no idea...not a single idea...

"EunByeol" He ran towards me before I even hailed a cab " What's wrong with you? I'm sorry if I said anything that hurted you"

"The problem with you is you have no idea and you still choose to stay that way. You can't open up about how you feel even though I can see in your eyes that you're dying to lean on someone!"

I have no idea what I'm doing right now...

"You're complaining about how you can't reach out to me but, then you don't make any effort! You've been too contained that you have no idea... About how the people around you feels....it's not just you JungKook... Everyone of us have their own battle to fight"

Tears ran down my face and finally a cab stopped right in front of me

"You said it as if me not being ok is not allowed when I'm with you.." I went in the cab and begged to leave immediately.

I don't want to look at his face because I know.... That I have no right to tell those things to him....

Because I know....

That I was not different from him...

"So much for my 24th of December" I pathetically sighed to myself

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Christmas is just around the corner

-Luna❣