Persona

CHAPTER XXVII: 27 Seconds

"This better be good" I muttered as I went inside the vip room which was written on the gold envelope

I entered and saw JungKook looking tense on his seat

The room had a romantic touch in It. Rose petals were scattered on the floor and candles were lit

The typical romantic scene

But to be honest I wasn't that moved

"Hey EunByeol you finally came" He stood up and led me to my seat

"Do you like it?" He was referring to the sort of surprise

"Yeah I do. You didn't need to do these you know"

"I didn't" He said straightforward and my expectations just died down more "when I said I was gonna meet a woman they insisted on preparing this"

"Oh" I plainly replied
"Anyways, what's up?" I cleared my throat and start up the topic I wanted to tackle
"JiHye said it was pretty urgent"

"About that..." He sat straight up and nibbled on his bottom lip "I wanted to tell you something"

I leaned on my palm that was on the table showing my anticipation

"I'll confess how I really feel about you"

I fluttered my eyes quickly in disbelief
Did I heard it right?

"I really like you EunByeol. Like as a woman." He continued

Even after his words... Why does my heart not feeling anything?

"I wanted to make you mine..." He sighed " Gosh I really don't know how to do this" He awkwardly laughed

"So what do you say?" He finally looked at my eyes

He confessed without looking at me directly..

how can I know if what he's saying is true?

"I don't know JungKook..." I sighed
"I like you, from the first time I laid eyes on you to be honest"

His face lit up

How could I put this?

If I didn't know myself better I would've said yes directly but, these days after what happened last Christmas...

I suddenly knew my worth....
I suddenly had an idea of what I truly deserve...
I was more desperate to feel real happiness

And that was because of Jimin....

"But, for this time I want to do what I deserve"
I finally managed to gather the courage I needed

Is this bad?
To finally do what I think is the best for me? To be the selfish one...?

"What? Why? You just said you like me?" He was confused and disappointed "so you're saying you don't deserve me?"

"It's not that JungKook. What I deserve is happiness and someone who can bring that to me. Someone I need"

"You were happy with me. We were happy. When we went to places. Was those fake?..."
His tone was sad

"No JungKook, those were real it's just that..." Should I say this? "You just never asked me about me..."

He tilted his head implying that he doesn't understand

"Let me put it this way. We don't click. You can't see through my words nor through my eyes" I did I great job explaining it right?

"I can tho-"

"No JungKook you can't. You didn't even know that I really wanted to cry when we went to Bukhansan National Park... You didn't even know that I was suffering the entire time"

"But, you were laughing and smiling...."

"Smiles doesn't always mean they're real... Sometimes a smile can hide many things" I tried to keep my tears at the bay...

"I...I don't know what to say...."

"You don't need to say anything JungKook. Just learn from this" I laughed very painfully "if there's nothing else you want to say, I'll excuse myself because I left some works at the ward so."

I stood up and he just bowed his head....

"Thanks Kookie" And with that I left...

After I closed the door I leaned on it...for what seems like 27 seconds to be exact...

I thought he'll be chasing me..but, I guess not
I guess he really did not like me that much

But, let's look on the bright side

I finally did it. You did it EunByeol...

You actually did something for your own benefit...

You treated yourself right for the first time....

For once...

You put yourself first..

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Show me love

-Luna❣