Somebody to Love - A Joe Mazzello FanFiction

Chapter 27 - The First Day Alone

My apartment felt cold and empty. It felt like I had just moved in again. I hadn't made it mine. I needed to adjust my life again. I sat down on my couch, listening to the deafening silence of the rooms. I didn't know what to do. In times like this, I would text or call Joe just to have something to do. I decided to start my work, backlogging covers for when I would be away. I decided to also have a few real-life videos thrown in as well. I would be bringing my laptop, camera, and microphone to London so I could record some things. Maybe a Q&A, a challenge video, and definitely the announcement of our relationship.

I began scrolling through the list of songs I wanted to cover and chose one. I started with the drums and then went on to the guitar, bass, keyboards, and extra sounds before finishing with vocals. I would usually record my vocals over several days just to make sure they were perfect, but with this crunch time schedule, I didn't have time to do that. Everything had to be done in a day or two. I liked making sure everything is perfect, I just couldn't do that right now.

At around 12:45 AM, I finished up everything I wanted to do for the music. I had started vocals and I was going to finish them first thing tomorrow morning. My fingertips were aching from the guitar and bass playing. The pain stung every time I touched anything. Whenever this happened, Joe would kiss my fingertips and whisper into them how much he loved their talent. He just wanted me to no longer be in pain. It hurt him to see me like that. But, he wasn't there to do that now. I had to bear the pain on my own.

I got ready for bed, wearing my matching pajamas and brushing my hair and teeth. No one was staring at me while I did these things. I know Joe and I didn't live together, but it felt like it sometimes. He would stay over so often or I would go over to his house. But, he always seemed to like my apartment more. He would stay here. And when I would go to bed alone, I knew that I would probably see him the next day. There wasn't any promise like that today.

I laid down in my empty bed and stared at the place where Joe would sleep. I moved onto my side and stared at the pillow. My mind was racing, but I couldn't make out a single thought. I glanced at the time; 1:00. I tried to do the math in my head. Joe's flight was at 2:30. He told me it was a 10 and a half hour flight. OMG, he should be calling any minute. I sat up and rested my head on the headboard. Even though I was extremely tired, I wanted to talk to him and see how the flight was.

I sat and I waited. And waited. And waited. I ended up falling asleep at around 4 in the morning. No call. I fell asleep only because my body couldn't handle being awake anymore. I would have stayed up longer if I could have. I woke up the next morning at around 10 AM. I immediately checked my phone. Nothing. Not a text or a call. I was still tired, but I had to wake up. I debated if I should call him. Was he mad at me? Or did he just forget? I was confused. I decided to think about it while I got dressed. There was a voice in my head that kept screaming CALL HIM CALL HIM CALL HIM. So, I did.

I Facetimed him with the hopes that he would pick up. It rang for a long time before the call was finally answered.

"Holy shit, I'm so fucking sorry." I did the math in my head and it was about 6 PM there. "I'm so tired I just forgot and people picked me up from the airport and tried to keep me awake and I just lost all track of time. I'm so sorry." He was rambling, but I forgave him.

"It's okay," I chuckled. "I was just worried. I stayed up to hear from you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay?"

"You stayed up?" He asked into the phone. I could see his bloodshot eyes and the dark circles beginning to form under them. He hadn't slept since last night, and we didn't even sleep much then.

"Yeah, I did," I responded nonchalantly.

"Till when?" He seemed worried about me.

"About 4, I guess. Then my body couldn't take it anymore." I laughed.

"You must really love me if you stayed up till four in the morning." I gave him a look. It was no longer just us talking. I knew he was probably with someone. He seemed to be sitting at an outdoor café. I could see a street and a couple of tables behind him.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Windsor Castle. Michael, here," He turned the phone to allow me to see the man named Michael. He was a nice looking man, slender with brown hair cut very neatly and a timid smile. "Brought me up here so I wouldn't fall asleep. It's pretty fuckin' cool here. But, it's only sort of working. I'm still a bit loopy if you couldn't tell." He chuckled. I could as soon as he picked up. He didn't swear that often, but he swore more when he was tired.

"I can," I replied.

"Look at you, you're so...observant!" He was trying to find the word in his sleep clogged mind and became extremely excited when he thought of it.

"Thank you," I laughed. "You really are out of it." I joked.

"Yeah," he replied with wide eyes. "And I'm sorry I didn't call. That's really stupid of me."

"It's okay, I know you're alright." I gave him a caring smile. Then, I spoke louder. "Hopefully, Michael will make sure to keep you awake and out of harm's way." I wanted Michael to hear me. Joe looked up at him with a smile and pointed between Michael and his screen.

"I hope so too," He joked. Joe's eyes started to close slower and slower. Until he almost nodded off on the call with me.

"Joe!" I yelled. He woke up with a jolt. He rubbed his face and eye. His hair was protruding out everywhere and he looked like a crazy person. But, I knew he didn't care how he looked. He just wanted to go to sleep.

"Sorry," He said, rubbing his face some more.

"I know it's hard to stay awake, but you have to get used to the time difference. It will help in the long run." I tried to be as supportive as I could.

"I know, I know," He droned.

"Come on, Joe. Let's walk you around some more." I heard Michael say off camera. They must have finished eating right before I called.

"Ok. Babe, I gotta go." His words were slurring slightly. He was trying to save his energy by not putting a lot of effort into speaking.

"Ok, I love you," I said.

"I love you too. And I promise to call you again. I mean it this time." He was pointing at the phone.

"Okay," I laughed.

"Bye."

"Bye." As I clicked to finish the call, a thought ran through my mind. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. Sure, not being able to touch him or be with him physically was going to be hard, but I could still talk to him. I could still crack jokes with him. And, we could still 'hang out', just in a more digital sense. He was still there to talk to and be around, just not physically. It would be hard, but talking to him like that helped me realize that he isn't completely gone. It's just going to be a little different for a while.