Somebody to Love - A Joe Mazzello FanFiction

Chapter 57 - Healing

Warning: Some SMUT (just a small part of the chapter)
————

Joe's father passed away in May. I had been sleeping when the family found out. I was a little sick for a couple of days beforehand and sleep was the best thing for me, so Joe hadn't woken me up in the morning. But, I was woken up after they found out. He shook my body to wake me up. Desperate pleas of my name falling from his lips. His voice cracking and breaking as the tears spilled down his face.

The next couple of weeks were a blur. Everyone was grieving. His father was loved by many people who sent their condolences over the next few weeks. We stayed in New York for two weeks after his death. Finishing up everything there was to do there before we felt like we weren't needed there anymore. Joe was in charge of how long we stayed and when we went home. I didn't mention anything about it. He was hurting beyond belief and I didn't want to get in the way of it.

There were long days of silence, both in New York and back in LA. Long days where Joe and I just stayed in bed and didn't talk. Days when we would hold each other and fall back asleep just after we had woken up. Even though we were excited about our new life living together, we didn't have the energy to get up. We didn't want to do anything. We barely left the house. Never got completely dressed, spending most of our days in our PJs. Joe didn't shave, letting his scruff grow out almost into a beard.

His eyes had lost that spark. That little glint of happiness that I loved seeing. It was gone. I wasn't sure if it would ever come back. But, I knew he just needed time. There needed to be a while before he was back to his normal self. So, I waited patiently. I healed faster than him, which was obvious. I started to get dressed every day and go outside, even if it was to just get food. I was smiling and laughing more. The dark cloud covering my mind had gone away slightly. But, it still hung over Joe's head.

So, I did everything I could to make him happy. I would open all the curtains in the house (they say sunlight is good for depression), bring him his favorite foods, clean up the house, and bring him presents. Most of the presents would be sweets or flowers that would be placed around the house. Just to lighten the room a little. I knew that no matter what I brought home or what I did for him, it would just take time.

As hard as it was for him, it was also difficult for me. Not at all in a similar way, but to see someone you love start to 'dim' and fall into a depression is not easy. He would sit lifeless and emotionless on the couch. Watching the TV or playing a video game with a thousand-yard stare. It would be quiet. I would just watch him and I could feel my heartbreak. It was so quiet, I was surprised he couldn't hear it.

His mind was always racing. He barely talked about what he was thinking, but I could tell. He was distant, but I knew it wasn't because he didn't love me. There were times when I would wake up to him crying or hear him crying in the bathroom, hiding his feelings from me. I would always try to comfort him, but eventually, I just started to leave him alone to deal with his feelings himself. He wouldn't hide them from me unless he wanted to deal with them himself. It was a difficult time, but about a month and a half after his father's passing, he began to seem a little brighter.

I brought home a bouquet of roses from the grocery store to liven up the house. Without a word, I replaced the flowers in one vase on our coffee table with some new ones. As I went to pick up the old flowers to throw them away, Joe grabbed my hand gingerly. I looked up at him with doe eyes. He just gave me a small, shy smile before pulling me to sit down next to him on the couch. I gladly sat down and he rested his head on my chest. I rested a hand on his head while the other hand rubbed his back.

This was a position we had come to love in the last weeks. It comforted him to have me hold him for a while. I guess he just liked to hear my heartbeat and feel my chest move every time I breathed. But, he didn't relax into me the way he usually did. It was like he was tentative to give in.