Somebody to Love - A Joe Mazzello FanFiction

Chapter 30 - The Final Days and Hours

1 ½ weeks later

I was leaving for London in 4 days. I had just finished up the last video I needed to backlog and I sat in my computer chair. I looked around at my music room, taking in every little detail of a place I would miss for the next 6 months. Every small or big photo lining the one wall and my instruments. All beautifully laid out in a row, waiting for me to play them again. But, this wouldn't happen for a while. I got up from the chair and made my way into my kitchen. I made myself something to eat as I thought about the months ahead of me.

They would be jam-packed. I would be in the same place as Joe, but that didn't guarantee me anything. He would still be working long hours and I would still be alone in an apartment most days. It was worth it as long as I was still in bed with Joe at the end of a long day. Feeling his body under mine as we slept. Our warmth intertwining with each other.

I hadn't begun packing. Kind of a silly thing to say when you're about to live in another country for 6 months. My laziness was getting the better of me. I didn't want to start packing, I just wanted to leave. I just wanted to get on the plane and fly those long hours into a country that I loved. But, there had to be preparation. There had to be boring parts to get to the good parts of life.

I began laying out clothes. I would be there for summer all the way through winter. May through December. This meant I couldn't just bring one type of clothes, I needed to bring many. I anticipated that I would buy things there, but I still needed to pack all the things I wanted. The first thing I grabbed was the light pink Vegas shorts. I wanted to make sure I didn't forget them. I kept laying out clothes, hoping to finish by the end of the day and get to sleep.

Over the next couple of days, I was focused on packing. I needed to make up for many days when I should have been setting everything up to leave. Deciding what to bring and what to leave behind was very difficult. It was like I was leaving Chicago again. Trying to figure out what would have a spot in the new place and what I should just leave here for when I got back. I began opening drawers and pulling out clothes, making sure that I had every piece of my favorite clothing.

I accidentally opened Joe's drawer. His pajama pants and white undershirts sitting there perfectly folded from the last time I did laundry. He still had the ring box in there. I picked it up and looked at it. Inspecting it as if I would find something new about it. I thought back to when he gave me the ring, still plastered on my finger. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I was going to see him again soon. It was actually happening.

Then, of course, my mind started racing. Thoughts began clouding my mind as I thought about Joe and going back to him. What if, in those short weeks, he had fallen out of love with me? What if he had been faking his love on the calls? What if when I get there he tells me he doesn't love me anymore and tells me to go home? Oh no. Not another one. I thought. I felt myself falling into another episode. I quickly grabbed my phone and called Joe. It was the middle of the day and he was probably working, but I just needed to hear his voice. Either he would pick up or I would hear it in the voicemail. I waited as my heart began to beat faster and I started pacing around the room.

"Hey, you've reached Joe Mazzello. Leave your message at the beep." A generic message, but at least it was something. I began taking deep breaths to not sound as desperate with my hyperventilating.

"Hi, babe. Um...I know you're probably working...but I um..." I was stumbling through my words, trying to make a cohesive thought. Something that would make any sense when played back. "I'm freaking out again uh...I just needed to hear your voice. And...I know I'm gonna be there soon. But it just...this just started and I think I just needed some reassurance." I started sniffling from the tears falling down my face. "I have a million thoughts racing through my head and I know deep down that they aren't true...but it doesn't stop them from happening." Tears were falling faster, but I held my voice tone pretty well. It wasn't shaky. "I think I just need to know that you love me. And that sounds so stupid because that's all you do, but I really need it right now." I paused for a second. "Call me when you get this...please. Bye."