the boxer // lrh au

thirty seven ; takis

calum didn't even attempt to start a conversation with me as i got back in the car. he must have noticed the shift in the atmosphere as i continued to fiddle with my fingers and get lost in my thoughts.

luke was sound asleep when i left which made me feel better about leaving liz alone. in the drama with luke though, i had completely forgotten about the news michael had to tell me about.

letting my thoughts drift away from luke for a bit, i begin to think about michael. i was worried for him. michael has never looked so anxious about something in the entire time that i have known him. there was nothing that i could imagine that would be so serious for michael that happened recently that he would want to tell me.

"so what happened back there?" calum finally asks, ripping me away from my thoughts.

"luke was drunk. his mom was weird. kept telling me contradicting things," i mutter underneath my breath.

though my tone was bitter, calum still let out a laugh.

"liz hemmings always seems to be talking in poetry. think that's where luke gets it from." calum says, as if he was thinking about something but didn't actually say anything to me. instead, he parks his car in the parking lot of our apartment and gets out.

"speaking from experience?" i ask, trying to get calum to explain what he was on about.

"when we first became friends with luke and he brought us over, he had this anger flash or something like that towards his mom because she brought up his dad but then he calmed down like twenty minutes later and said some shit about poison." calum unlocks the door to the apartment and shakes his head.

"what about poison?" i question, trying to get more out of calum.

"something about love being like poison. i don't know, tyler thought he was on crack. obviously, that's not possible considering he's on a strict diet for his boxing. not to mention, he's also not supposed to drink alcohol considering his season is coming up."

describing love like poison did sound an awful lot like luke. then again, this was also the same guy that quoted the panty scene from 10 things i hate about you.

"michael!" i hear calum shout from a few feet ahead of me. forgetting about luke, i look at the scene ahead of me.

"oh my god, michael." i rush up to his side and hug his shaking body.

currently, he was on the floor of our kitchen crying.

"what happened baby?" i ask, taking time to look at his face.

"i know, i have a 0 pain tolerance for spicy chips but they're the best kind!" he wails, hugging me tighter.

though i know michael and he would actually cry over eating spicy chips, he only ever actually ate spicy chips when he was sad.

why i knew all this about michael clifford? that- i don't know. it's probably also the reason why i don't have enough room in my brain to store the quadratic formula.

basically, michael clifford is the reason i'm bad at math.

"here, stand up. let's go to my room." i start trailing michael to my room but hear calum behind me.

"no, put the takis down!" calum says, ripping the bag out of his hand.

"but the takis!" michael groans, stomping behind me. 

i drag michael into my room and shut the door. i needed to find out what was wrong with him right now or he might actually do something more self-destructive than eat all the takis in the apartment. 

"mikey, what's wrong." i say, picking up southy from where he was left last and hold it out to michael for him to take. 

"put the dumb dog down bella." michael mutters, pushing my hand away and sitting down on my bed. 

i furrow my eyebrows at him and frown. i never thought having southy was dumb. it was like a release. an easier way to express what we wanted to say. i drop southy down on the ground and move closer to him. 

"did you ever think bella, that life is moving on too fast for us." michael says bitterly, playing with the seams of his shirt.

"what? what are you talking about michael?" i ask, confused. i sit down next to him but as soon as i do, he gets up and walks away from me. all i could see was his back. 

"everyone has it all figured out. school starts back up day after tomorrow and i don't even know who i am." michael picks up southy from where i had dropped him last and he lets out a quiet laugh.

"michael." i whisper, not knowing what to say. i had no idea what he was talking about. 

"life's moving too fast and i have absolutely no idea where i fit into this dumb chess game god is playing." michael's tone matched mine now, his voice barely a whisper. he seemed to go from angry to sad extremely quickly. 

"michael, what do you mean? you've always known where you fit in. with me. with tyler. with calum." i frown and ponder what he meant. michael always seemed so content with his life, i never actually thought he felt any differently. 

"except that's not it bella. something has been bugging me for months now and recently..." michael trails off, leaving me confused with what he was talking about.

"what michael? what's wrong? you know you can come to me with any problem or thought." i say, trying to comfort him. 

"no you don't understand," michael turns to face me. "bella, i'm gay."

a/n

hi i'm in my mikey feels as you can see and i didn't want him to be a part of bella's love life so to tempt away from writing that, he's gay

which is also completely fine because we're getting much needed representation. 

ok bye. much luv