Dear Ms Lady Demigod

6 8 Hating Things You Can't Have

They had no answer to my question
And how could they?  They just blindly believed what was told to them but I won't be like that. I have a plan. I just hope it works because I'm completely dependent on it now.

I am waging a war against a demon. I might never win, but I'll make sure I don't lose the people I love.

I walked through the rose garden. Everyone was eating dinner inside while I had lost my appetite. I was afraid I won't win. My body was stronger than my heart and I couldn't kill Lict no matter how strong I become, I wonder if that is what failures are like.

That no matter how strong they get, they can never do what needs to be done. I've revolted against the demons and the gods, who are left on my side now are demigods who are only there to kill Lict.

This is beyond my abilities. I feel like I'm walking in circles, where I start loving, then they suddenly leave because of me and I'm back at the starting point again. I knew something like this would happen, why did I still love him?

Did I like him?
Or was I just lonely?

"Vierne," Lord Akagi stood behind me. He probably was out for his after-dinner walk. I turned towards him and looked into his eyes. I gathered all my strength for what I was going to say next,

"I might have to sacrifice myself for doing this,"
I never saw what was coming from him after I said that,
"Vierne, if I lose you then that's a sacrifice too, and you promised me that you won't let me make sacrifices."

I looked at him. I looked into his red eyes, "Ever since I met you, it's been really confusing," He told me, "You always ask the questions nobody asked before. I think a lot about how not all gods are good and not all demons are bad. You know, there's nothing like good and bad. Everyone makes mistakes that doesn't make you a bad person.

Everyone was made for a reason, even demons. They are just doing what they are supposed to and become an object of hatred so that we can worship gods to protect us from those objects of hatred. No one from our realm has really tried to understand what a demon feels or knows or wants.

Killing people is easier than changing them. Killing demons is easier than learning them. You share a bond with a demon—You do realise that you're our only hope,"
"Me? You have Evgeni with you."
"Evgeni can defeat Lict, but only you can save him. And you're doing it for yourself. If things get difficult, ask for help and we will come. In burning forests of pain and helpless desire, we will find you but for that, you need to raise a fire. And you have to do it alone."

"You know, I think I know why demons are hated,"
"Why is it so?"
"Because nobody can have them, and you hate the things you can't have."

"Oh lady Vierne," He bowed and pressed his right first over his heart. I was surprised,
"This might be the first time you're addressing me as a nobility."
"You might be the first noble I've met who deserves her position. I really admire you," He smiled at me.

"You're making me blush," I laughed. I was a bit relaxed.

I wondered what Lict could be doing. I was supposed to fight him the next day. Lord Akagi had told me that he had been killing demigods and star spirits in the blank space. Since we sealed the door to the Astral world, he was stuck there.

So, with every demigod he killed, his curse got stronger. There must be a reason why he was doing this--Maybe to collect spirit energy and become stronger to face me.

I picked up the sword and pointed it at Lord Akagi, "Ready?" He had his axe in his hands. I took a deep breath. It was my final practice, "Ready,"

We both ran towards each other, I was looking at him as if he were Lict. I knew I could defeat him--I was stronger! His eyes shone red and mine shone blue. He was fast but he wasn't using Skorost. I decided to go offensive—Using a sword was getting easier for me—Like I had used it before. It didn't take me a lot of time to learn swordsmanship.

I had used it in the past.
I don't where though.

I grew faster as I attacked and shifted Lord Akagi to his defences. I wasn't going to give him an opportunity to attack. Evgeni stared at us while drinking some tea, "Lobelia, why don't you join them?"

What?!
She seemed like she was waiting for his order and she ran towards me with a huge sword. That was unfair! I was fighting two people at once—And they both had had bigger weapons! I was being overpowered and I hated it. I went on the defensive.

"It's cheating!"
"Everything is fair in war," Evgeni said and I snapped.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I smirked.
"This is some quality entertainment," Evgeni took a sip.
"Sad for you because I am not an entertainment you can enjoy,"

He looked at me and I kicked Lobelia in the stomach, as her grip grew loose. I kicked her wrist and she left her sword while my sword touched her neck, "You die,"
"This is cheating," She said.
"Everything is fair in war,"
Evgeni laughed, "You got me,"

But I hadn't defeated Lord Akagi yet. He stuck me on my shoulder and I began bleeding, "Stop losing focus,"
I groaned as my shoulder healed and continued fighting. He seemed faster now. And suddenly, I had fear running down my feet. I couldn't defeat him and he didn't hesitate to hit me.

Finally, I fell and held the sword above me, where he landed his axe. I looked into his red eyes and he looked into my blue eyes.

"What? Intimidated?" He smirked.
I smirked back, "Fire is blue when it's the hottest and burns everything completely. It turns red when it grows weak and hesitant. Now tell me who should be intimidated?" I pushed him and got up. I was faster too and it took me not more than ten seconds to have a hold of his axe with my sword touching his chest.

"What do you say now?" I was out of breath. He smiled, "I feel like a proud dad."
Oh, my demigod, I'm soft.
And ready.
And of course beautiful.

-To be continued

Vierne Obolensky
Dear Ms Lady Demigod