Starting New

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He had to stop feeling so sorry for himself. He had messed up and that was that. 

And there's nothing he could do about it anymore. So he had to start living in the present. The past was long gone. His country was making the necessary positive changes.

Holocaust denial became illegal in 1960. 

Other countries were following.

And he had to remember that, which is why he was doing this.

Germany took a deep breath and knocked on the door to America's office. 

"Come in!!" He heard Alfred call back.

He walked in office and was greeted by the American's smile, "Germany!! Hey bro! You need something?"

He stopped and thought of what he clearly wanted to say. Why was this so hard? It was something so simple.

If it's simple, then say it damnit.

"America," He spoke, "I would... I was... I was thinking that-" He sighed, "I was hoping if it would be okay.... if I could move back to my country... If I could move back home."

Home, it sounded so familiar yet foreign. 

This, this place was his home too but, not his true home. He missed that place, his missed his people.

He missed his family, too bad he couldn't see them. 

When he would go around helping nations affected by the Great War, he would avoid going to Germany..... Or what they called it now, West Germany. It was just too much.

But he had to, it was time to face it. After all this time, it was time to go home.

American stared at him for awhile, it seemed like he was thinking.

For some reason, he felt nervous. 

"You know Lud," Alfred spoke, "Mar tells me that Liechtenstein gets excited when she tells her about you." 

He slightly smiled at the mention of his sister, he and her were still writing letters back and forth to each other. It was risky but if Lily got in trouble for it, he would take the blame.  But he also had to say, it was so worth it, talking to her, even if it was through writing, it was so nice. He really did miss her.

And now, since Maria was over in Germany (That's where he and his family lived together) having a sleepover with Lily, she was secretly giving the girl letters he had wrote to her and telling her things he wanted her to know.  But.... his heart clenched. Since he couldn't talk to his family, he would be living in another house up north in Germany, unlike the one in central Germany where his family was living.

He wouldn't even be living with them.. it hurt so badly.

"So," America's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, "If I let you go, will you go and talk to them. Or a least your sister?"

Germany frowned, "It's not that simple." 

Alfred sighed but nodded, "You still have to trust yourself around them. You don't want to disappoint. I can understand from that perspective, but promise me this one thing Lud."

He was looking him dead in the eye.

"If I let you go," He said, "You will one day, make contact with them. Family's important you know, it always is."

Germany nodded, he knew that... He was just going through some stuff right now.

And would his family even trust him again?

"Then," America smiled and walked forward. He clapped him on the back, "It was great having you here, it won't really be the same without you. But remember, you're always welcomed back."

Germany looked at him in shock, he was really letting him go...  He would never be able to repay him for everything. He knew for a fact that if he had been sent to live with Russia, this wouldn't be possible.

But America..... Alfred. He....

He stood up for him, he had treated him with kindness, he had gave him and his family more time, he had tried connecting him with his family, he had fought for a reunion. 

"Th- thank you- Danke," He instead said in his native language.

Alfred smiled, "I guess we should go and start packing you up." 

Germany was about to speak when he noticed his longing for home became stronger, he nodded, although he was nervous for it. He was also more than excited.

"Ja," He started to walk out the room but was called back.

"Hey Germany," America said, "Let me tell you, for the sake of family." He was giving him a gentle smile, "For the next twenty years, don't move back in here." He didn't sound harsh with it at all.

But Germany still didn't understand..... "What do you mean?"

Alfred gave him a knowing look, "Certain things take some time. Plus, once you reunite with your family, you wouldn't want to come back. Just remember what I said, no matter what happens. You'll understand eventually."

Germany nodded and thanked America one more time before leaving the office.

He couldn't help but wonder about what he said but like America said, it seemed like he would get it eventually, so he shouldn't stress about it now.

Now, he had to decide when to start packing.

He was going home.

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Wow, I have not updated my two stories in like a month. But here you go!! Does anyone think they know what Alfred meant?

Any thoughts or feelings on the chap/Germany going home? I feel like it was kinda about time.

And now I have to try and update Never Should Have Let You Go!!!! Bye!!!