Professor Khan ✔️(completed)

7. s u k o o n - peace

The most heartbreaking moment of her existence was when he saw the evidence of her weakness. The carefully placed facade had a crack forming into it.

The truth of her life coming to surface: Darkness had taken physical form and laid on her arm in the shape of little lines.

"I need to go." She pulled her bag. Almost running out the door, but his words stopped her for a few seconds.

"Miss Noor, no one is worth to sacrifice your peace over."

His words washed over her, but how could he ever know that it was a lost cause for her. That she had never tasted peace. She stopped believing is peace because chaos was her solace now.

She was staring at the blade on her desk. The light from the window sparkling on the sharp piece of metal. Her phone was vibrating somewhere on the desk, but her mind didn't even register it. She could hear the faded voices of Zarmina and Falak in the living room.  But they all were background voices. Her mind was fogged with pain and all she could think about was how to remove this suffocation and burning pain.

She had friends. She had her education. She had an amazing brother. Her life was filled with everything she could ask for in that moment. Still, there was something fundamental missing. Something that drove her over the cliff. Something that she had a full right to get. Something that should've been given to her, but she was deprived off. 

The love and affection of her parents. The unconditional bond that a child should have with a mother. The unwavering trust that a daughter should have had in her father. 

None of which she had even seen a glimpse. None of which existed for her because she was never enough... just never good enough.

"your existence ruined me."  

She held her head in her hands as she pressed hard on it. Her mother's words had broken Rabail's little world and she could still hear the echoes of as her world shattered.

Fifteen years old Rabail had only questioned why she was never good enough and her mother, in turn, had shattered what little she had left. Her mother had called her a bad omen. 

Sixteen years old Rabail had been dressed in a beautiful navy blue dress, waiting in the back of the banquet hall till it was freezing cold. Everyone had left and she was still there... the last one. Yet her father didn't show up for the father-daughter dance.

Her anxious brother had come looking for her and found her shivering against the wall... still waiting for her father... a hero that never even existed. She had gotten sick waiting for him, to the point that her brother had to take her to the hospital right after and hospitalize her. 

It was that unfortunate day when she returned from the hospital. She'd heard those words. The ones that broke her so much that she could never heal. The words that made her a stranger in her own house. She'd heard her parents wishing that she should have never been born. She'd heard her mother saying that aborting her would've been a better choice. That her face only reminded them of what they lost and the worst of their life. That she was unwanted.

The meek and fragile sixteen-year-old Rabail had absorbed every word, every pain, and every wound. She'd silently picked up her phone and left the living room without a fight. Maybe, if she had screamed that day, let the wounds bleed, and let them know she was hurting... maybe she would've had the ability to heal at least. But till day those words were living in her. Flowing in her body, poison mixed with blood. Hurting her from inside. Burning her veins and ringing in her mind as the echoes of the past. 

And when she had lost all her ability to fight and cope, the only way to let that pain and poison out of her body was to cut her veins open and let it bleed. That day she went to her room. Threw everything out of her drawer and found a small shiny blade. Her way to cut out of this purgatory. 

With each cut on her arm, she found an escape. It was easier to deal with physical pain. She knew how to take care of it. How to stop the bleeding. How to heal it. Her brother had taught her, but he could only teach her how to physically heal, emotionally she was wounded and broken. And her brother couldn't do much about it. His love could never overpower the hole left by her parent's negligence. The only way she could run from it was to find enough pain that it would shut the echoes in her mind. She'd never forget the pain when the blade tore her skin for the first time. Pain seared her soul and she could feel that burn even years later.

The phone's vibration finally caught her attention. Her mind was asking to be relieved from the memories of the past anyways. She picked up her phone, trying to avoid glancing at the blade. Her breath caught in her throat as the memories still swirled in her head. fuck. She wanted to get rid of them. Anything to remove them. She closed her eyes to take a long breath and then opened them. She picked up the phone and expecting it to be her brother like the last ten times, but it was the person she least expected it to be. Her eyes almost fell out of the sockets.

Lucifer

"What the ..." She literally blinked to make sure she wasn't seeing things. She slid the screen to read the text

Aloe vera gel can soothe the burn and it can prevent scars
well at least the physical ones.

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