Professor Khan ✔️(completed)

39. r u h - s o u l

"Do you think it matters if I know what's written in here?" She was swinging between the extremities. Rip the papers to shred or memorize the truth.

"What I think doesn't matter. What matters is what will put the unease and suffering to ease in your heart?" He handed her a cup of coffee. She thanked him as he sat next to her.

"You should at least know who I am? What if I can never look at this and never know."

"I won't look at it, and frankly it doesn't even matter to me. I have told you a thousand times over. It matters to you, and rightly so. I'm not going to weigh in on this for you." He tucked back the falling hair on her face. "You had my file the whole time and you let me tell my story."

He smiled at her as she looked up.

"I will let you tell me who you are through your own words and your own story. I never thanked. I should have thanked you days ago, but I will now."

"For what?" She creased her forehead with confusion.

"For letting me tell you what happened. For trusting me enough to do this. You have no idea what it meant to me. So let me do this for you too. Take as long as you want and I'll be right here when you want to go through these okay?" He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer as she nodded.

/////

"Your website is getting wonderful feedback." He was lazing around the bed as she stared out their window. The mountains were foggy and clouded like her mind.

Her heart aching to flip through the documents. Through photos, but another part holding her back. Fear. Every vein of her body was laced with fear. Fear of rejection. Of being called illegitimate by her own father.

The man she dotingly considered her father. Loved him all his life couldn't even be bothered to text her. She understood she was not his child but what about all the affection and emotion she had for him as his father figure?

So she was laced with fear to expect much from someone who barely donated his DNA in her veins.

She knew she needed no one's approval, affection, and love to know she was damn worth being loved and being happy, but little Rabail in her craved the affection that was her right.

She wrapped her arms around herself, crossing them across her chest.

Her whole world was filled with what ifs and the broken hopes and wishes of her childhood. She was well on her way to healing, but the truth of life was that she could never from the lost time.

The nights when she went to sleep in the darkness of the night, quietly crying for her mother to hold her because she was scared. The lost time of being Daddy's little princess.

Of all the things lost time was the only thing that could never be recovered and all she had was a pandora of lost time.

"Rabi?" She had not even realized when he stopped talking about the website and when he left the comfort of their bed and stood behind her. This was the reflection of the depth of her dilemma. "What happened, love?"

She leaned into the safety and warmth of his arms, closing her eyes.

"Is this the dawn I have been waiting for my life? The first thread of life?"

Her voice was exhausted for some reason. As if it's been too long for her wandering between pain to pain, tragedies to accidents. Her limbs fatigued. Her voice wearied of the future.

"What are you talking about?"

She held the documents in her hand.

"My whole life changes again after this huh?"