Professor Khan ✔️(completed)

19. w a d a - promise

please do comment and vote <3 

    Rabail tells her story and it might be a trigger for some. Please do skip if you are not able to read it. It's totally okay. And for those who do read it please don't take this seriously and remember this is just fiction. And if you do have such thoughts please seek help. I can't stress enough please reach out to others and share your pain. Hurting yourself is never an answer. This is just a story so let's treat it like a fictional story.

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     The ocean was eerily quiet, just the crash of waves once in a while. The grains of sand glistening in the rays of the sun. She took a long breath and inhaled the calmness of the salty ocean breeze.

     She was calm like the ocean. Both keeping up the facade of stillness. Deceiving people with its cloak of peacefulness. But like the ocean deep down she hid violence. Violence against her own self. Like the deep sea, no one reached far enough to find out what monsters lay at the bay. That within herself she had been nurturing pain, ache after ache, and her own head became too warlike to live in it.

     And only thing war does is destroys. And that's what her own head did to her. It destroyed her to the point that she tried to end it once and for all.

     "Sixteen..." he repeated after her, tasting the sorrow of such a young age on his own tongue.

     Before saying another word, she waited. Waited for the fear of her past to snake around her throat and choke her. Waiting for her memories to take away her breath.

     But nothing dared to stop the storm from rising.

     The only thing she found in place was the need to scream out of the suffocation. To break through the prison of her head. To cry out the atrocities she had been holding on to.

    "My parents," she swallowed the lump in her throat, "they are different. I don't think so they were meant to parents or maybe just not meant to be my parents because I know they love Hassan Bhai, but so many times he's lost a lot too because he was fighting for me."

     "My dad," She smiled sadly as she stared out the car window, but hardly she could see anything because her mind was foggy with her past. "He is just a person taking care of me. He provided me with everything he has ever bought for Hassan. Teaching us same values, sending us to same schools, setting the same rules for us. With physical needs, we were on the same caliber, but emotionally I was far more disturbed. He'd never looked at me the way he did to Hassan. He has never explicitly differentiated between us, but I knew he loved him and there was nothing for me. It was the way he put his hand on Hassan's head or the smile when Hassan did something stupid funny or the angry flare when Hassan was acting up, but for me there was nothing."

     "He's never even made eye contact with me. He's never made to any of the school events for both of us, but for me, he didn't even look guilty the next day. For Hassan, he was a father who was busy but still loved him, But for me, he was just taking care of a responsibility forced upon his head."

     She'd never recovered from the missed the birthdays, missed school events, missed hugs and just mere glance of love she craved.

     "At first I thought it was because Hassan was a boy and I was the girl, but no, we had same rules, same curfew, same amount of pocket money, I was never made to feel any less than he was because I was the girl, but it's just I never belonged there. Like I was forcing myself into the home that never welcomed me."