"Hey, can I come to the airport with you, when you leave babe?" I ask playing with my fingers
"Im leaving at 3:00 am tomorrow, my flights at 3:35" his static voice responds through my phone
"Awww, okay... Just know I love you.." I pause, "have a safe flight."
The taunting silence stands there for a moment. I wanna hang up because I just feel like I'm annoying him.
He has too much on his plate as it is. I'm so complicated and confusing. he doesn't need me.
"You're the only girl on my mind babe," he cooes
"That's cute, love you I have to sleep now," I unwillingly end the conversation. The moment I feel its time to let go, because he doesn't need me, I latch on tighter.
I'm the one who needs him.
But its 11:36 and I have tutoring lessons tomorrow, so I actually have to go.
Fyi I'm 3/4 done with my studies hollaaaa.
"I love you sooo much!!" he kisses through the phone
I hang up.
My fearful thought of him kissing other pretty girls- liking other pretty girls- choosing them over me, scares me right down to the core.
He can get any girl he wants.
He can drop me, at any moment.
But I love him...
This is what love is? Where you're so vulnerable, because of your affections towards another?
Your only weakness is him, and if somebody else trots along, you're just done?
Hayes could let me go any second of any day, for all I know he could let me disappear into thin air without him breaking up with me.
Breaking up with me.
Breaking my heart.
Ripping it right down the center, slicing my self confidence and chopping it up until only tiny shreds are left, smashing the only part of me that is left.
A second can change anything.
Millions of girls obsess over him, and what am I?
An average sized brunette, whose eyes are always red and swollen.
Who can't help but think of other's opinion, terrified that nobody loves her, and who doesn't even truly know who she is.
But.
Other girls are fit and confident.
Without a care in the world, with their head held high, strutting down the streets as if they own the place.
My competition.
I might loose Hayes to them.
Do I trust Hayes?
Does he even need me in life?
He has the looks and the fame
He has the dream life, many would kill for.
Hayes. A sweet down to earth celebrity who cares about everyone.
Who loves me.
Loves everyone.
Tells me im beautiful.
Tells every girl their beautiful.
Soon. He'll unlatch me, he'll let go of my grasp, and walk away.
He can get up and go at any time.
He can walk away.
He will leave me.
I'm not good enough for him.
The scarce thoughts of him leaving me for another, sends vibrations and shivers through my arms and legs. I shake out of fear. I can't sleep now, not with this on my mind. It takes countless hours for me to drift into a dreamless slumber, haunted by the night sky and bright moon. Haunted by the thought of him leaving. Disappearing. Moving on.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
"Best Friends"
FanficI was destined for heartbreak. I came to the realization, that my previous feelings for him, were not only still alive, but the intensity between us, would make or break our friendship. My emotions wrapped me into a stupid cliche romance when I was...
