"Best Friends"

Chapter 27: Fears

Anxiety clutches onto me in the middle of the night, awakening me from my dream.

A sharp pain hits me in the stomach.

My heart race raises higher and higher, faster than a beat of a drum, faster and faster.

I analyze my surroundings.

A puddle of sweat staining my zebra print bedding, engulfs me.

Today's the day.

Even though I've managed to change the dates twice so far .

There are so many knots in my stomach, I could make a hunter's net trap, maybe I'll use it to capture all the dead butterflies.

Its been haunting me day to day, night to night.

What's hysterical is Hayes doesn't even bother to text or call me at all.

Simply forgets about me.

5 days he was gone.

5 days.

But a thought arises inside of me, wondering if he's been gone longer than that.

If he stopped loving me a long time ago.

If I cut him with the clips of my broken heart.

If he met somebody else.

Somebody secure.

Nobody can forget about somebody in 5 days?

If a little over a week ago, he said "I love you" and called me gorgeous, as if it was my birth name, how could he not talk to me?

Was this just a game?

Is love just a game?

Am I just a stupid pawn?

IS THIS EVEN LOVE?

Now the tears come back.

Flooding, like a tsunami, I'm hurt.

I'm broken.

I'm tired

I'm lost

I'm confused.

But never will I ever admit that because

"I'm fine"

I look at my phone to reveal the time of 4:12 am and the date Saturday 28th.

This'll be our break up date: Saturday 28th of July

How come this bothers me more than it'll bother Hayes?

Hayes will get a another girlfriend in no time.

Once again he'll ignore me.

I'll be a ghost.

A distant memory.

I just don't understand.

How come he's treating me like this?

Am I being a coward by dumping him the moment he ignores me?

Am I?

A coward?

I'm just running from my fears.

Trying to beat him to the punch line by breaking up with him before he breaks my heart.