"Best Friends"

Chapter 31: Overthinking

Hayes' POV**

Every guy has that one girl they'll never get over. Or that one girl that led him on and you witnessed him fall for her before your eyes.

In my case, I got overwhelmed. I really liked Cara, she's been in my life for as long as I could remember. She captivated my thoughts all day and night.

Except, when we started dating she would constantly talk about depression and how sad she was. Apart of me questioned if this was even going to work out. I tried comforting her, but she never listened. I told her she was gorgeous a thousand times, but not one time did she believe me.

The constant blabbing of sadness, scared me. I cared an extreme amount for her, but it overwhelmed me. I'm not saying that I'll ditch a girl whenever she's sad, I'll console her and hold her hand every step of the way.

Realize I can only do so much, the rest of the journey was for her to decide.

I left Cara. I'm ashamed, and regretting it. Every ounce of my body hated myself the day I broke up with her. Or she broke up with me. My mind is still fuzzy on the memory of that day. I don't want to remember. When she left, I cried. I was crumpling into pieces that night, every single ounce of my body wanted to run after her and beg for a start over.

Except I knew that couldn't be done. I needed a break from her, but I honestly think I ripped her heart out.

A pang of guilt hits me so hard, I feel numb. I really really really cared for her, and she'll be that one girl I'll never get over.

I thought I could use my time away as a break, but I needed more time away. As bad as that sounds, that's the 100% truth.

She had me in over my head, almost the entire relationship. To get my mind off her, to free myself from the hurt, pain, misery, and the burning sensation in my heart, I went to our neighborhood park.

The same park, Cara and I made so many memories there. It somewhat lifted my heavy burden of guilt, that consumed me day and night.

It somewhat filled the empty hole in my heart without her here.

Nothing came close to the real thing. Nothing. Just going to the park almost every night at 5 pm, comforted me. it was like she was sitting next to me on the swings, where we sat 6 years ago.

except it wasn't real. Real is physical. I can physically grab it with my hands and declare it to the world that I'm the proud boyfriend of Cars Acosta.

I couldn't stop replaying and replaying the memories in my head. Constant and constant. Remember when you guys did this? Remember when you guys did that?

Remember. Remember. Remember. I don't want to remember.

I want her here. Now. In my arms. I desire to see her and hold her in my arms without letting go because honestly she kept me going when nobody else did before.

Knowing Cara, I know she would block my number. I know she hates my guts. I know that the last memory we have of each other was me spazzing up as she shuffled her feet towards the back door.

Hey, even though I'm a guy I still have feelings.

"You know maybe I'll just send her a teddy bear," a thought crept into my mind as I laid down in my bed.

Within 10 minutes, I had customized my teddy bear with a personal message saying I miss you and it was expected to be delivered by the end of the month.

10 days.