Ethereal Love

Prologue

Prologue
 
  
Hindi ko nasisiguro kung saan o kailan ako nagsimulang magkamali sa mga naging desisyon at, hakbang ko sa buhay. Pero, saan man ito nagsimula ay itatama ko na ito.

We make decisions that we thought are right, only to be disappointed of it's outcome. And there are also decisions that we did not make - maybe because we're scared of what it will bring to us, or just because we're not brave enough to take the risk. Decisions that we wished we chose to do.

Maaari nating pagsisihanan na lamang ang mga ito, o itama ang lahat.

We make mistakes not to do it again. We make mistakes to learn from it, to grow, to become more wiser.

And, yes, mistakes might be a stain in our being that cannot be removed, and other people might judge us for it but, we can always choose to right our wrongs.

It might not erase the stain, pero kayang kaya nitong takpan ang mga pagkakamali natin sa nakaraan. Maaaring hindi na magbago pa ang tingin sa'yo ng mga tao nguni't, ang mahalaga ay ang malinis na konsensya at kapayapaan ng iyong sariling kalooban.

And that is what I'm planning to do.

I know I've done something horrible. Maybe something that doesn't deserve to be forgiven. But, still, I'm going to try. There's nothing to lose in trying. It is the right thing to do. Forgive me or not, what's important is I tried. I apologized for my mistakes. I apologized for all the pain that I might caused him.

Nagsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong kapatawaran lang niya ang gusto kong makamit sa malaking hakbang na gagawin. I won't lie, I want him, I still want him. I want him back, kahit na alam kong hindi puwede.

How ironic, kung sino pa ang nag paalis, siya pa ngayon ang maghahabol.

I'm slowly hating that part of my old self who loves romance movies. It only made me hope, assume, and believe that falling in love is easy as those in movies.

Kapag mahal mo, mamahalin kana din? Stupid! If that's really the case then, why are there broken hearted people? Why is there one-sided love?

Being in love is not easy. Dahil kapag umiibig ka, palagi itong may kaakibat na sakit. For love and pain are connected. You will also get to know yourself more. You'll realize how you can be selfish in some ways, and discover a hidden part of yourself that you never knew you had.

More so, if you're in a relationship. You can't fix anything by just saying how much you love each other and share a passionate hug, like in the movies.

When you are in a relationship, you need to learn to have more patience, to make sacrifaces, to lower your pride and ego. Entering a relationship means, you are accepting him for who he is. Even his flaws, his unpleasing sides, his hidden secrets that you'll discover, and his weakness.

Hindi dapat isa lang ang lumalaban. You have to fight together. Have more faith in each other rather than being jealous even with the smallest things. They say jealousy is a sign of love but, the truth is, it is not. Its a sign of the lack of faith to your lover and, insecurity for yourself.

Yes, other people might try to get your lover but, if you have faith in him, you'll stay unbothered no matter how much they try to pursue him. You won't be jealous over small things and make an issue out of it. You'll be at ease even without checking him every time. You won't doubt of anything.

And if there's a misunderstanding, the two of you will talk about it calmly. Not letting a day pass without fixing your problem.

Sadly, the eighteen year old me did not know all these. Or maybe she did... but she still let her emotions get the best of her.