Ethereal Love

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Business
  
   
"I still have classes tomorrow, pero susubukan kong humabol," sabi ni Nic mula sa kabilang linya.

"Sige..." sagot ko bago tuluyang ibinaba ang tawag.

Placing my cellphone on top of the bedside table, I was sitting on the edge of my bed as I stared at my own reflection through the mirror in front of me.

Kanina ko pa hindi malaman ang gagawin. When I closed the door between us, I just stood there and cried a bit cuz of our fight. After calming myself down I peeked outside my condo, expecting him to still be there but, he wasn't. I know I'm the one at fault. I lied to him and I avoided him, yet, I'm the one who ended up being more angry and walked out. It made me feel guilty.

I went to my room, forcing myself to sleep but I couldn't. Nabuhayan ako ng ilang minuto ang makalipas ay nakatanggap ng mensahe galing sa kaniya, informing me that he got home. Mas lalo akong nainis sa sarili ko nang mapagtanto kung gaano kalaki ang pagkakaiba namin sa isa't isa when it comes to handling our relationship.

While I was trying to solve my problems alone because of all this bitter thoughts I have in my head that he might leave me for someone better. He was being considerate on me. Nahalata na niya ang ginagawa kong pag-iwas, maging ang hindi ko pagsuot ng bigay niya pero, pilit niya pa rin akong iniintindi.

Gaya nalang ngayon. Even after our confortation earlier, he still updates me just like how he used to.

Maybe Camilla is right after all. Sensitive ako at sakit sa ulo. This is my first time to be in a relationship, at bata pa kumpara sa kanila. Aminado naman akong hindi ko alam kung papaano maging isang perpektong girlfriend kay Eliron simula nang maging kami, pero pinipilit ko namang gawin ang mga bagay na sa tingin ko'y tama para sa relasyon namin.

I'm not only trying to clean my name with what I am doing, at the same time, I'm also trying to clean his. Ayokong napupulaan siya ng ibang tao ng dahil lang sa akin. Pero bakit gano'n? Pakiramdam ko, mali pa rin ang ginagawa ko.

Paulit-ulit akong nagco-compose ng message para sa kaniya ngunit binubura din iyon pagkatapos. I'll be leaving tomorrow, at ayokong umalis na magkaaway kami. I want to apologize but, I don't know how!

Ako:

Ron, I'm sorry. Nagawa ko lang naman 'yon kasi sinasabi nilang pineperahan lang kita.

Inis kong kinamot ang ulo ko at mabilis na binura ang mensaheng iyon. Pinalis ko ang luhang nagbabadiyang tumulo gamit ang likod ng aking kamay dahil sa frustration. I typed again.

Ako:

Sorry! Nagkataon lang talaga na ando'n si Anthony kahapon. Bumalik ka dito, please.

Pumikit ako ng mariin at inis na nilapag ang cellphone ko sa gilid ng kama. Padapa kong binagsak ang sarili sa kama, binaon ang mukha sa unan.

"Bakit mo siya pinababalik dito, e gabi na? Zaylee naman!" angal ko sa sarili.

I spend the whole night composing an apology message for him but ended up not sending one in the end. I slowly drifted to sleep while still holding my cellphone.

Late na ako nagising kinabukasan. It's already six fifteen in the morning, and I should be on my way back to Bulacan by now but, here I am, too sleepy, making me move as slow as a turtle. Masyadong napuyat sa pagbuo ng mga mensaheng hindi naman si-n-end.

Tinadtad ako ng greeting messages ng mga close friends ko. I laughed a bit when I saw a very, very long message from Dennis. Most of the contents is about how he waited 'till twelve just to greet me. All of them want to celebrate my birthday here, because they can't go to Bulacan, for they have different things to attend today.