Bellatrix's Lost Daughter

Ch. 11 Hogwarts isn't Home

Today was the day I would return to Hogwarts with Draco. I didn't want to but knew I needed to. I could feel the tension as I sat at the table eating breakfast with my family. My mother's eyes were glassy with unshed tears in her dark eyes. I ate the rest of my pancakes before carrying my plate to the sink.

"Cuz! You ready to go?" Draco called to me. I turned towards him with a grin.

"As I ever will be," I told him simply. I looked at my Gryffindor robes with irritation as I followed Draco over to my aunt and uncle. I couldn't go with my parents but at least I had Cissy to take me.

"Draco watch out for Nat for us," my father whispered to Draco who nodded firmly. I looked at my mother pressing my lips to her cheek before taking Cissy's arm. I wasn't one for saying goodbye so I didn't. We apperated to the entrance of the train which Draco and I boarded together. I stuck close to Dray while whispers started spreading across the train. I not only was a new student but also close with a Slytherin. Dray picked a place to sit motioning me inside first. I sat down looking out the window while Draco waited patiently for his friends to arrive. My wand pulsated with dark energy as if trying to sooth my emotions. I shut my eyes taking a deep breath before looking over at Draco who looked at me with concern.

"I'm fine," I told him quickly. He gave me a small nod as the train continued towards Hogwarts. I missed the manor and I hadn't been away from it long. The train arrived and I got up instantly exiting the train with Draco and his friends following behind me. I reached the castle shooting Draco a smile before sitting at the Gryffindor table. I avoided looking towards the head table knowing Dumbledore was there. I could feel his gaze on me and I refused to meet his blue gaze. I felt Harry sit beside me as my eyes locked onto his.

"Ash," he whispered as I glared at him.

"You know my true name and you always have!" I spat angrily as he smiled smugly at me.

"Of course Dumbledore couldn't trust you," Harry said as my eyes flashed over to the head table. My eyes found Dumbledore's as I gave him a look of defiance. He sent Harry to challenge me but he needed to know the battle wasn't between Harry and me. The fight that should happen would be with Dumbledore and Dumbledore only. I felt the dark magic swirling through my body making Dumbledore's smirk falter and the sheer magnitude of the power. I gave him a smile before the food appeared on the table. I ate the food quickly ignoring Harry. Once I finished eating I got up walking out of the great hall. I made my way to the astronomy tower. I leaned against the railing as a feeling of unsettlement filled me. It wasn't the feeling of home I used to get from standing in this very spot. I sighed as I thought of Malfoy manor. The place I have come to love continually lingered in my head.

"Ashley," Dumbledore's voice broke through my thoughts. I turned towards him with my wand ready.

"Don't you dare call me that!" I spat my eyes flashing red.

"You will always be Ashley to me. I will get you back," he said grinning at me.

"I will never forgive what you have done!" I screamed at him holding back my unstable magic swirling inside me begging to lash out. "You broke me and took my life away from me. Not only did you take me but you controlled every aspect of my life after that moment including which house I belonged in."

"I did all of that to stop you from turning dark like your father!" He said without a hint of remorse in his blue eyes. He never cared about the things he did to me and he never would. I meant nothing to him like I have my whole life.

"He wasn't the dark one, you are!" I spat coolly a feeling of calm washing over me. I refused to let him get to me anymore. "Now if you'll excuse me it is almost curfew." I took off through the halls of the school entering the Gryffindor common room ignoring the stares I got from my former friends as I headed straight up to my room. I flopped on my bed as angry tears began streaking down my cheeks. I felt the wand's dark magic sparking to life pleading for me to give in and use the power. I knew using the magic would make me feel better but I refused to make Dumbledore correct. I didn't need the magic so I wouldn't use the power unless I needed to. I couldn't let Dumbledore take my control away again and so I held the magic deeply inside my body. I wanted my parents but I couldn't see them. I longed for the feeling of safety I had with my parents that I no longer felt. Hogwarts isn't my home and it never will be.