Bellatrix's Lost Daughter

Ch. 17 The Wait is the Hardest

It took Poppy ten minutes to get Draco and bring him into Minerva's office. The moment he saw me he knew what had happened. I could see in his eyes that Poppy had told him. He threw his arms around me as I sobbed against him.

"I can't tell them," I whispered in his ear as he pulled back with a serious look on his face.

"Why?" He asked as I looked down self conscious.

"I am nothing without magic," I said my voice cracking as I spoke.

"You are so much more than your power," Draco said his eyes filled with reassurance.

"I loved my magic and now I may lose the ability to access it forever. I can't be a Squib Dray," I sobbed as he caresses my cheek.

"You are too powerful for that Nat," he said seconds before Minerva entered the room. I saw the concern on her face while Poppy rushed to her explaining that the damage may be permanent.

"If that is true I cannot stand by while Dumbledore continues to harm people. Especially people who have done nothing," Minerva said sitting on the couch beside me.

"I'm going to give you a sleeping potion before I head back to the medical wing," Poppy said after a moment. I drank the potion without hesitation. Within a few minutes my eyelids grew heavy. Draco stayed with me until I fell asleep.

I found myself standing in the middle of the clock tower courtyard. I looked around the smokey rubble that remained of the courtyard. I glanced at my hands which were covered in blood.

"You did it Ashley," Dumbledore's voice called out to me. I whipped around facing Dumbledore who smiled at me. "You have ended the war. They can't hurt anyone anymore." Confusion filled me while Dumbledore motioned behind me. What I saw behind me sent a wave of pain through me. My parents lay on the ground beside each other with their dead eyes staring at nothing. It looked like my father had tried to shield my mother from the thing that killed them but they both died.

"What happened to them?" I asked softly as Dumbledore put his hand on my shoulder.

"They forced your hand Ashley. They chose this path and you did what you had to to protect the Wizarding World from what was to come," Dumbledore said as I pulled away from him. "I am so proud of you Ashley!"

"My name is Natasha!" I growled as he stared at me.

"If calling you Natasha makes this easier so be it but they are still dead," he said. "It's normal to grieve but I thought you had gotten past this."

"They are my parents!" I snapped harshly.

"They didn't raise you!" Dumbledore said in response as anger filled me. Beneath the anger was guilt, guilt stemming from the fact that I had killed the very people I loved more than anything.

I jolted away to see Minerva's worried face looking at me. I breathed heavily with sweat dripping off my body while my heart pounded against my chest.

"You were screaming," Minerva said as tears streaked down my face.

"Bad dream," I managed to mutter while she looked at me. "At least I hope it was a dream."

"Explain it to me," she said sitting on a chair next to the couch I had been sleeping on.

"I killed my parents for some reason," I whispered as pity filled her eyes.

"You would never Natasha. Trust me that was a nightmare and nothing more," she said firmly. "You couldn't even kill Dumbledore after you found out the truth. You have never used an unforgivable curse." I looked down pondering the things Minerva was saying.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway. I probably lost my powers so it's not a problem anymore," I said bitterly while Minerva sighed.

"It's been long enough since Poppy told you about the damage. Would you like me to check and see how much has healed?" She asked me as my heart hammered in my chest. Did I want to know even if the answer was something I didn't want to hear? I needed to know because if I was basically a Squib I needed to be aware of that so I could plan what to do with that.

"Do it," I said firmly as Minerva gave me one last sad look before waving her wand. I watched her frown deepen as she put her wand down.

"Oh Nat," she whispered as I became suddenly calm. Every once of emotion I had been displaying vanished with that thought.

"I'm leaving," I said simply as I got to my feet. "Tell Dumbledore I don't have magic anymore so I can't hurt him anymore." I said as she nodded grimly. She took my arm gently offering to take me to Malfoy Manor as I no longer had magic. I allowed her to lead me from the room and off of the grounds of Hogwarts. She apperated to the manor staying by the gate while I walked up to the door. I stood in front of the house trying to bring myself to enter while Minerva watched from the street. She knew that I needed to do this on my own but didn't want to leave until I entered the house. Tears pooled in my eyes as I pictured how my parents may react to the news that their daughter is no better than a Squib.

"You can do this Nat," I whispered to myself as my fingers wrapped around the handle of the door. I took a deep breath pushing the door open. I stepped slowly into the manor as my hands shook with fear. I knew my parents would love me no matter what but that didn't mean I wasn't terrified to see their reaction to this.