Different worlds (a Steve Rogers love story)

Chapter 43 - Not good enough

Steve had been at the hospital for over 3 hours now, and he'd been in a hospital bed for 2 of them.  Despite stating that he was fine and just wanted to go and find Hannah, the nurses insisted that he stayed for a little while longer, at least until the majority of the dust was out of his lungs.  And they ploy to keep him there?  Plonking Bucky in a chair at the end of his bed.

"You dare take that oxygen mask off again before the nurses give you the all clear and I swear to God Steve!"  Bucky said as Steve's hand moved towards the mask, for the third time since he'd been there.

30 minutes later, the nurse gave Steve the all clear, removed the mask, and gave him back his clothes so he could change out of the hospital gown.

When Steve got back from the bathroom where he'd been changing, Bucky was stood in his room waiting for him.

"Nat just called.  Hannah's out of surgery.  She's unconscious, but she's stable now.  We can head down there whenever you're ready Steve."

"Thanks Buck."  Steve said with a small smile as he put the gown back on the bed and grabbed his shield which had been propped up by the chair.  "Can we go now?"

"Sure pal.  Come on, Nat sent me the room number."  Bucky said as he put a hand on Steve's shoulder and the two of them walked out of the room.

When Steve and Bucky reached Hannah's room, they went straight inside.  Steve stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Hannah.  Although she'd been cleaned up since the tower, she still looked so pale.  There was a bandage around her head and arm, and cuts graced her normally smooth skin.

"It's okay Steve, she's stable now.  She'll just be out for a couple of days."  Natasha said from her seat in the corner of the room.

"I know.  I just-.  I should have done more to keep her close to me."  Steve said before setting his shield down at the end of the bed.

He pulled a chair across the room and positioned it right next to Hannah's bed.  He looked at her hand which was laid on top of the duvet, before carefully picking it up and holding it.

"How's Sam doing?"  Steve asked, never taking his eyes off of Hannah.

"He's still in surgery.  Some of the wood debris splintered in his chest, so they need to get that out, and he needed a blood transfusion urgently after the amount of blood he lost.  But it's taking longer than expected to get the shrapnel out."

"I hope he's okay."  Steve said, turning his head to look at Natasha.

The fear, worry and regret in Steve's eyes was overwhelming.  No matter how hard he tried, he knew he couldn't keep everyone safe all the time, but it still hurt when someone got hurt.

Natasha and Bucky had left some time ago to go and check on Tony and Sam, but Steve had wanted to stay with Hannah.  They'd told him they'd keep him up to date on Sam's condition, and he'd promised to go and see him tomorrow.  But right now, he felt mostly responsible for Hannah's condition.  He was meant to be shielding her from risks when she got hurt, and he  hadn't.

"It's my fault you're hurt Han.  You and Sam got hurt because my plan wasn't good enough to protect you.  If you or Sam don't wake up Han, that's on me.  And I don't think I could handle that."  Steve said as his eyes began to fill with tears.  He pulled Hannah's hand up to his lips and kissed it.  "I'm so sorry
Han."

Steve fell asleep that night with his head on the side of Hannah's bed, still holding her hand.  He'd made the decision to stay the night very quickly.  Thor had taken Blue to stay with Jane for a couple of nights while Tony's team cleaned up the tower, and fixed and replaced what they could.  Steve wanted to make sure Hannah didn't feel alone when she woke up, like Steve had when he came out of the ice.  No one deserved to feel like that.  Certainly not Hannah, not after everything she'd been through.