Ash

Chapter 44

Aaron's POV

Haven and I were laying on the couch watching a movie when I heard a knock on our door. I groaned as I sat up and walked tiredly to the door. I opened it and I gasped at who was standing there. I haven't seen her in a while and definitely wasn't expecting her to show up.

"Hey, is Ashton here? I need to talk to her." I rubbed the disbelief out of my eyes, "No, she's out with Sam and Penn, uh, I can give you her number though?" I spoke. "Yeah, okay. I just really need to talk to her about something."

Haven appeared behind me, "Hi, I'm Haven, Aaron's girlfriend, you must be a friend of Ashton's." Shelby smiled and nodded, "Yeah, sorta. We got off to a bad start but she told me her address so I was hoping she would be home by now." At that moment Erik's car pulled into the driveway and switched off. Penny got out of the drivers seat and Ashton got out of the passenger seat. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Shelby. "Shelby? What are you doing here?" She asked, clearly surprised. "I came to see you, I was hoping we could talk..."

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll head upstairs, okay?" Penny yawned. Ashton nodded and she and Shelby began walking down the street together. I retreated back to the couch with Haven by my side and we returned to our movie.

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Ashton's POV

I had to clench my jaw to keep from screaming. The things that have happened since I left are just terrible. I used to be the target of the abuse, but now Shelby gets all the hell. Her concealer was fading and I could see the bruises on her arms and cheek. It pissed me off. My heart raced as I thought about what else could be going on. "You haven't told anyone at school?" I asked. "No, I'm in the process of getting adopted, so I don't want that to fall through. They're really nice. I'll have an older brother named Johnny Snow, and a mom named Miranda Snow. Johnny's daddy died when he was little, but they've managed alright."

I smiled, "Well I'm glad to hear that. Not about his dad, but that you like them. I really hope that works out. It's about damn time they got you out of there."

We spent the next hour just walking down the street. We ended up at a beach, standing by the ocean. I took my shoes off and walked barefoot through the sand, the wind blowing my hair back. The sound of the waves crashing on the rocks about 100 yards away was loud enough to drown out any conversation. I decided to let Aaron know I would be home later than expected and asked him to let Penn know too. I stepped into the water and the waves came up to my knees. The water was cool and helped calm my nerves. I felt a familiar pang in my chest and took a deep breathe. Something was going to happen. I used to get this feeling all the time. It was never wrong. My heart began to race as I stood in the water and thought about what could possibly happen. I bit my lip. No. I won't let this feeling get the best of me. I looked back over to Shelby, who was also standing in the water, and I gave her a warm smile.

"Wanna see my tattoo? I can't get it wet and it can't be exposed to sunlight, but the water isn't that high and the sun is down." She grinned at me and nodded, adding a 'DUH' to really emphasize her enthusiasm. I lifted my shirt off and showed her the tattoo on the front of my left shoulder. I saw her eyes widen and her lips parted in admiration as she stared at the fresh ink. "That's so beautiful, Ash. I love it." I smiled and put my shirt back on, wading back to shore. As much as I loved the ocean, I loved sleep. I was becoming tired. "You wanna crash at my place tonight? You can meet Penny." I stood for a moment and waited for her to answer, "Sure, I just gotta be back at the orphanage before the sun comes up." And so we began on our hour walk back to my house, just the two of us, barefoot under the moon. I should really do this more often. The walk back to my house was a silent one, the only noise was the sound of the occasional car passing by and the crickets chirping. I managed to calm myself down from the anxiety that was building back in the water. I glanced at Shelby, who was walking beside me with her head down, eyes on her feet, and took a deep breath.

"Promise me something." She looked up at me, startled by the sudden sound of my voice. "Yeah, what is it, Ash?" I gulped, "Promise me that no matter how bad things get you won't hurt yourself. If you feel the urge to do so, call me. Please. I don't want you to have to feel that pain. That pain is a terrible pain, one no one should ever have to endure, and I wish in a way I had never endured it myself. Nonetheless, I don't want you to go down the same road I did, so if things get bad and you need and escape, you know where I live. Okay?"

Her eyes glazed over with tears and a single tear rolled down her pale face, "I promise, Ash. I won't. And if things get that bad, I promise I'll come talk to you." My mind felt at ease knowing this. I hope things never get that bad for her. She deserves better. In case you've never experienced this, let me shed some light for you.

Cutting isn't a cowardly act. It is seen as a cowardly act because instead of facing the problem or talking to someone the person takes a sharp object and hurts themself. I used to cut. I've cut more than Aaron knows about, and of course I haven't told anyone. But I have. It's an addiction. Once you pick up that blade there's no guarantee you'll be able to ever permanently put it down. I know it's hard. If there's one thing I've learned it's that it isn't worth it. It's one of those things you desire to do over and over again after you do it once. The feeling is like no other. You get a high in the form of an adrenaline rush. You can feel the blood pulsing through your veins. And for that short period of time, nothing else matters. All the problems of the past fade away, it's just you and a blade. A lot of people don't understand it only because they haven't done it. And if you are one of those people, it's okay, and I hope you never do it. The relief is temporary. And no one wants to date a girl with scars, right? Wrong. The scars remind you that the pain was real and that you can heal from your past. They remind you that you have gone through hell and you're still here. I have gone through hell and I'm still here. I'm strong. I'm brave. I'm anything but a coward.

As we entered my house I quietly closed the door behind me, locking it, and sneaking up stairs. I knew Penny would still be awake. Sleep was a joke to us. I opened the door to my bedroom, lo and behold there she was, sitting on my bed watching Netflix, no volume, just the subtitles. I smiled and nodded at Shelby.

"Hey, it's nice to finally properly meet you," Penny spoke softly. She's shy around strangers. Shelby smiled, "Nice to properly meet you too, Penny, I'm Shelby. Ash and I were in the orphanage together." I saw something flash in Penny's eyes. I'm not sure what it was, but she definitely knew something I didn't.