Anxiety • part 2

29 • memory lane

Adviced songs to listen to during this chapter:
- How to save a life (The Fray)
- Let it go (James Bay)
- Summertime sadness (Lana del Rey)
- Dreams (Fleetwood Mac)
- Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol)
- Summer is a curse (the faim)

They are all in the spotify playlist I made (link on my profile) so go check that out!

Okay, have fun reading!

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"I can't believe we're here again" I said softly as we walked through the hallways of the hotel we stayed at 2 years ago. We were on a different floor now but it was just bringing back all the amazing memories. Our first date, our first real kiss, it all happened here in Australia and it made me forget that I was still upset with him. It's been almost 2 months since I asked him what he did and he still hasn't said a word about it. So I gave up bringing it up but he knew how I felt about it.

"I tried getting the same room as last time but this one is a bit bigger as we have both dogs with us now." He said with a chuckle and I smiled as I looked up at him. "I know you're mad at me but I love you Sam, please don't forget that. I will tell you soon."

"I'm not mad, just upset that you feel like you can't tell me. I'm a pretty forgiving person so you could have just told me."

"That's not it Sam, I just can't say it yet." He said softly and I nodded with a small smile. I had to believe him on that. I've even tried asking Calum and Sierra but they refused to say a word.

"This should be it." I said as I stopped at the door and I put the keycard in and pushed it open. I smiled as I looked around at the rather large hotel room and let Piper loose while Ashton did the same for Bella before dropping my suitcase beside the bed.

We had decided to come to Australia a little earlier so we had 3 weeks here with his family around the holidays. Jackie and mom would fly in next week, a few days before Christmas to be able to celebrate together.

I was so happy that we were able to spend Christmas and New Year's eve with both our families this year. But I was even happier that we got to do it here in Australia instead of in London. Because every time I go there, I feel like shit again. So now that I'm finally doing really good, I don't want to throw that away by celebrating a very emotional Christmas in London.

"I made a dinner reservation at 6 so we can go to bed early."

"I'm wide awake so unless you decide to fall asleep halfway dinner, I don't mind" I replied with a chuckle and he smiled at me.

"It's 5 now so if you still wanted to shower, I would hurry up."

"Will you join me? You need a shower too." I asked with a grin and he smiled widely before coming over to me and picking me up. He threw me over his shoulder and I laughed while he walked us to the bathroom. "Piper stay." I said quickly when she wanted to follow us into the bathroom. I pushed the door closed before he put me down and he kept his arms around my waist, leaning down to kiss me. "I love you Ash" I whispered when I broke the kiss to take off my shirt. I'm not going to take a shower with my clothes on.

"I love you too Sam, so so much" He replied and it didn't take us long before we were both undressed and standing under the showerhead. He looked down at me with a smile while I removed the strands of hair from his face. His hair was getting long again and I loved it but it looked so funny when it was all wet. "Turn around, I'll wash your hair" he said in a soft voice and I did as I was told and smiled softly as he washed my hair, the both of us singing random songs softly.

I just smiled as I thought back of the moment I decided to get out of my room, knock on his door and tell him I wanted to try this. I have not once regretted telling him that; okay maybe I did the first few months but not anymore now. He became my everything, the love of my life and the man I want to love forever. Even with his goddamn secret that drives me insane.