The secrets we keep

Chapter 37

The days passed on and I started giving up on finding Jason. It wasn't my responsibility anyways. But I couldn't shake off that bad feeling, like his disappearance was my fault after all. I was still mad at my brothers because I was 100% sure they were lying to me about Jason and what was going on, but on the other hand, they were mad at me; For lying to them, twice. (Thrice actually. I lied to them about dating Jason too. They hadn't figured that out yet but I wasn't gonna tell them either.)But hey, nobody's perfect, right? I made a mistake (or a couple of). But so did the rest of my family, but somehow I was the only one being held accountable.
So for the past days we had basically lived in a bubble of anger, fury and aggressive silence.
Until, one morning, my father received a call and we got the news:
Our grandfather had died.
All smiles faded of their faces, but to be honest no one looked that hurt. No tears, no reactions.
Personally, I didn't really know him. The last time I saw him I was ten, and I'm pretty sure I didn't like him back then. Gerard Blake was no Grandpa. He was a polite but cunning man, who would do anything to reach his goal.
That's how my father described him.
Honestly, he was probably just a manipulative power hungry asshole.
The funeral was set to be on Sunday the 13th.
„We are gonna fly to Boston on Friday, your grandma wants the family together before the funeral.", he announced.
So I had exactly one day to prepare to meet all of my extended family. Although I didn't agree to it, it seemed like this event put our fight on ice. It didn't matter, I would find out what happened eventually. Their behaviour was way to suspicious, they definitely had something to do with whatever happened to Jason.

We had been excused from school, so on Friday morning we boarded the family private jet to fly to Boston.
I absolutely hated flying it was the scariest shit in the world. You're on this giant metal bird thing controlled by someone else high up in the sky. How does that sound like a good idea?
„You okay, Kenz'?", Jackson petted my back. I sat crunched up on the couch and held my stomach.
„Fuck off.", I curled up on the little couch.
„C'mon, whatever it is you're mad about, forget about it, at least for the weekend. This is gonna be exhausting enough already.", he pulled me up to sit up right.
„I can't just forget it okay? And the fact that you're just shrugging it off like that.. It just makes you look guiltier."
„Is this still about Jason?", Liam interrupted.
„Why is everything still with you? Normal people don't just get over everything in a minute and move on."
Liam rolled his eyes.
"Forget about him. He's probably just left town. If he knows what's best for him he'll stay gone.", he grunted.
I grit my teeth.
"See? How can you ask me to forget about it If you're always like this??"
„Like what?", Jackson shrugged.
„You're constantly threatening everyone. It's fuckin' scary. I don't even know who you are."
I sighed and got up.
There isn't much space to walk away on a plane so I just went to the toilet and locked myself in. Why did everything have to be so complicated?
I spent almost half an hour in that tiny room before I couldn't take it anymore and got out.
„Finally", Tyler hissed „I thought you were gonna drown yourself in there.", he rushed past me to the toilet.
I rolled my eyes and sat down in one of the seats. Before anyone else could try to talk to me I plugged my earphones in and closed my eyes.
I couldn't sleep because I still panicked the plane would crash down any second but I managed to avoid talking to anyone for at least half of the flight.
Approximately 2 hours before we landed my father held his famous don't embarrass me Kenna Speech which was basically a copy paste from earlier events just harsher because everyone will be watching you.
I think I zoomed out at listen to me.

Anyways, after we landed in Boston a limousine picked us up and drove us to our grandparents residence.
I don't wanna call it a mansion because honestly that wouldn't come close.
My grandparents owned a giant villa a little outside of Boston. We used to go there at every family reunion and sometimes spend a couple days there. It had like a thousand bedrooms (but somehow not enough to fit the whole family) and a giant garden with a little pool. Any house looked like a wooden cabin next to theirs. I realised how I had gotten used to all the luxury, I didn't even think twice about getting on that private jet. Or into the limousine. And while I was impressed by this house, I didn't think it was really a bad thing. I felt bad, that this was normal for me now. I couldn't explain why but it made me feel guilty, because I knew there were a thousand better ways to spend that money.

"Earth to Kenna?", Jackson waved his hand in my face.
"What?", I snapped and glared at him.
"Are you gonna stand by the car all day or are you planning on going inside?", he raised his eyebrow.
I aimed to rush past him but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.
„Let go of me."
"Listen to me", it almost sounded like a plead "I didn't know how to say it without offending you but, for your own good, don't mention mom while we're here. And if they bring her up change the topic. The rest of the family is pretty.... let's say...resentful."
"Resentful about what?"
He sighed.
"Look, I know it wasn't like that but the way they see it you were stolen from this family. They think she basically kidnapped you.."
"They what now? What the hell?", I shook my head.
"You avoid the topic with the adults, okay? All our cousins are cool but just don't make a scene or anything."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?!", I paced in front of him.
"Because I knew you would react this way. And I thought you might not wanna go."
"Well you thought right!"
I heard Tyler yelling our names from a distance but didn't respond.
"WE NEED A MINUTE. GO WITHOUT US.", Jackson yelled back and turned to me.
"C'mon let's take a walk."
"I don't wanna walk."
"You wanna run?"
"Yes."
"Well, you can't run here.", he chuckled.
"Watch me.", I said and sped off.

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