Our Promise (Narusasu)

A Special Thank You 🧡💙

Hey, loves no this isn't an update, but just a thank you to all of you. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm thankful for each and everyone of you. 2018 was hard year for me for your loves information I was 18 just turned 19 the 18th of April. 2018 was hard for me was because I was going to college, and studying for something I didn’t want to do. I was going two days out of the week for college but arrived at 7:30 and left close to 6.  I was super happy to have my days planned out that way so for a day or two I had time to do homework, and the rest of the days were dedicated to you all. I would get head on into writing or just trying to bump up my vocabulary, or even details, expressions or feelings. I wanted you readers to get attached or just surprised by my plots. It was going amazing until the days I went to college I was there with an empty mind, and heart to the point I would just pull out my book,  and think of ideas for my stories. Some classes I was interested in, but mostly I wasn’t. I was also scared to admit to my grandma that I was unhappy about college. I was also stressing with our home issues my dad was hardly giving us money so we were barley handing the bills. It made me greatly stressed that at times when I came home to my grandma, and sis that I found we hardly had any water or food.

What made me lose it the most was during the summer of 2018 I thought I was granted a full time job at dollar tree. For two months I worked my ass off coming in whenever they called me staying until they wanted me to. I was happy though getting hours getting money having time to write for you readers due to me not going to school. That was until one day I glanced at my schedule to see I had zero hours of work I confessed to one of my coworkers that I didn’t have hours, and they laughed and thought I was joking but I never changed my serious expression, and it is then he took it serious. He told me he would call the manger and that I should get called. My mind lingered on those hopeful words for two weeks, and I never got a call. I grew scared that I had done something so bad that they wouldn’t bother to call, so I called my aunt she was the one that was able to help me get a job. I called her but no answer so I decided to text her and it was less than a second I got the cruel words that I was working seasonal, which is just a worker working for the seasons. Which meant I lost my job. I had worked during  thanksgiving and Christmas.

The same week I lost my job was the same week we got a called from the food stamps department that they were going to cancel our food stamps due to the money I was earning, which tied us to todays struggle. It still rages me today that my grandma went back to report I lost my job, and they told her that we couldn’t get food stamps, because I wasn’t working, and it was until I work that I could get food stamps, which makes no sense. Every two weeks I made up close to 270, but for a family of three that wasn’t a lot per month. That money mostly went to an extra bill we needed to pay, and also personal needs. Like shampoo, conditioner, body wash, pads etc.

  One day I got fed up and told my grandma I wanted a job so I can help bring in some money, but she denied it and wanted me to go to school. You see my mom ran out on us, and my dad hardly supported us, so me and my sis were piled on my grandma to pay the bills that is 70 years old. I grew tired of going to school and wasting time. I grew tired of hearing my grandma cry at night due to her worrying about the bills. I knew I wasn’t going to make it in college with the way I was going up to this year. I was scared with everything that was going on that I was going to disappoint her or make her depression worse. Till, one day of last month I couldn’t, and I sat down with my grandma at our kitchen table on a Sunday morning, a day before school. I sat there extremely nervous I was licking my lips that felt like rough droughted dirt. My heart was racing, and my palms were sweating. I didn’t even get to say the full sentence of me being tired of college due to me breaking down. With tears filling my dark brown eyes and trailing down my cheeks. I confessed with a shaky voice my inner demons, and struggles. I confessed I was tired of college that I didn’t find anything that satisfied me or that I looked forward to, and I was tired on wasting time. I grew tired of the fact we didn’t have a car and that my uncle had to drive thirty minutes to school. I grew tired of my uncle driving me to McDonalds so I can use the internet to get my homework that had to be done on the laptop finished, due to us not having internet at home. (Btw I do my stories on my laptop then send the file to my phone where I copy and paste it then publish. So you guys don’t get confessed on how I do my stories even though we don’t have internet.)

I confessed with a broken heart that I was fed up coming home to see we hardly had food. That I was stressing about everything together, but mostly our problems.

After my tears she smiled at me and asked me why didn’t I tell her sooner. She told me that she didn’t care what I did as long as I was happy. She told me if I couldn’t handle college than I shouldn’t go. She told me if I wanted to leave college and get a job that I should go ahead. The sensation I felt through my heart was just complete happiness. I was shocked as well,  since my mother would tell me my grandma was not accepting that she only would accept what she wanted, and because of those words I was scared to admit my true feelings my inner desires, but now I know I shouldn’t have fell from them.

I shouldn’t have fell for them, because one day my grandma asked me what is it that I do on my laptop, since I'm typing away 24/7. I nervously fumbled with my lip, before i confessed and explained what I did with my free time what I love doing which was writing for you all. She asked me what does one of my books consist of, and I explained to her one of my books which was "He's not as bad as you think".

After my explanation her eyes sparked and she told me she was amazed on how I could create such plots. It is every now and then she asks how are my books doing, and it feels my heart with happiness every time she asks. It reassures me that she accepts what I am doing.

When I started all this I had told one of my cousin, and he had asked me one day what if I would get paid for what I do. And I thought about it "what if I do get paid for working on my books?" I thought what if they did pay me but charged my readers to read my books, because I knew that was a thing. Still if one day someone told me they’ll pay me, but they would charge my readers I would deny it. I write for my passion and mostly for you all. My true dream is continue to write for you all, and to also get back into drawing so if one day one of you guys asked me to draw a smut image of Sasunaru I would respond with a hell yeah, and work on it then post it later. I know writing its not something someone would consider, but to me writing for you all is my passion, joy in life even a stress reliver.

I know this was long, but my message through all of this is to thank you all. Thank you for those who comment. Thank you to the ones that vote. Thank you to the ones that just reads. Thank you to the ones that just added my story to their reading list. Just thank you to the ones that take their time to read my books.

I am truly happy I have the support of the main person that I love, and always wanted support from. I also have an interview Wednesday!!!!! Just thank you for all of your support each, and every one of you mean a lot to me truly.

Just thank you, and mostly to follow your dreams, and reach for the ones that seem farther than the clouds, because you can reach.