Contemplate

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It was strange now for Krickitt to be alone. She was used to it before Jared, but presently she couldn't relate to her former self. She was glad to have this time by herself to think, and focus on something new without any distractions. Today, she was to turn in her final script for Death Letters. Now the production team were free to run with her story of a young woman who leaves clues for investigators following her abduction. The woman details her location as her captor drags her along a tragic venture. She describes what happens to her and how she survives in each "letter" left behind. Krickitt only hoped they would capture the sheer heartbreak of the story.

After dropping off her script, she decided to go get a coffee and possibly work on one of her old scripts that she had told Jared about but hadn't yet finished. The story based on her experiences as a barista had escaped her when she got the opportunity to write a crime drama. She hadn't revisited it since she and Jared were in Paris. She thought maybe this could be her next official project, something lighter than her previous material.

A baby. Jared wants a baby. Two years ago when she met this man, she never would have guessed he'd be asking this of her. He seemed like somewhat of a womanizer at the time, but now he acted like he wanted to be a family man. She didn't want to be the only one making sacrifices in this. If she had to give up a project or an event, then he had to as well. Sure, she wanted to have a family, but she had been working too hard to give up her career.

................

Jared found it difficult to get into character. Krickitt and their future together took over most of his thoughts. He decided to use the short driving time required to get to the shooting location to contemplate his life back in the states. He sat in the backseat of the car, watching the city flash by. This neat idea of his could turn into his reality, and he felt guilty because he wasn't sure if he was actually ready. He didn't have time to think before he found out Andrea was pregnant. He only had about three months to figure out how to be a father. But now, given the time, he had a lot to consider. Could he give up traveling to stay home with his child? How would the Echelon perceive him if he did this? Would they respect his decision or resent him? He didn't have to sacrifice too much with Lana, since he only had her half of the time. He had kept her life out of the public eye. Could that be possible for his child with Krickitt?

He loved Krickitt and their new life together. A big part of him wanted to build a family with her, but another part loved his life the way it was. He had been able to travel all over the world and Thirty Seconds to Mars had performed in front of people of different cultures and he had experienced art, history, fashion, and all types of things. Could Jared Leto stop doing these things and live a life of what some people called "normalcy"? What most might consider boring excited him just as much as exploring the world. He missed being Lana's dad. But this could be something totally different. He wouldn't be parenting alone, he'd be doing it with Krickitt, the woman he loved. And giving Lana a cousin to play with meant a lot to him too. His thoughts were silenced as they arrived at the location, and it was time to force himself into character.

..............
Two weeks pass.

Fuck. He missed her. He didn't know he was able to miss someone like this. It wasn't like before when they decided to part ways. Since then he'd fallen deeply in love with her. He didn't necessarily want to leave her, but he had work to do. Now he missed being with her. Her scent, holding her at night, and laughing with her, he wanted it all back so badly. He had been so busy with the filming schedule and the time difference didn't help either. They barely had time to FaceTime so they decided to video chat on their laptops when the opportunity arose. Jared's heart skipped a beat when he saw her, and Krickitt beamed a wide smile.

She felt a wave of happiness as she took in his bright blue eyes, which she had grown accustomed to staring back at her. Oh how she had been missing them. She's give anything to be in his strong arms in that moment, but the screen would do for now. "Krickitt, baby, I'm so happy to see your beautiful face." "Jay, I miss you so much." "How is everything at home, love?" "Good, good. I'm working on my workplace comedy." "Oh, yeah! That's great, baby." "I don't even know what to call it." She shrugged. "Don't think about it too much. No need to rush, it'll come to you." "You're right. How's filming going?" "Great. Everything is on schedule." She knew he didn't want to reveal much about it because he wanted her to see the finished project and judge from that. He was so particular about his performance.

"Do you want to talk about...babies?" She asked as she began to fidget in her seat. "Absolutely. I am ready for a baby whenever you are. I got to thinking: the kid will have summers off because of school and I can tour then. I can take my family along with me." Krickitt's heart fluttered at the word "family". Jared continued, "And you and I can both do film work in LA. We won't have to travel anywhere. Everything works out." She took a moment to absorb everything he said, and replied, "Okay. I'm ready too." Jared couldn't help but smile like an idiot. "I still think we should get your sperm checked though, and go from there." He chuckled, "You're so concerned about my sperm, and I love you for that."

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