-shawn mendes imagines-

10 : I Miss Her

P. S please listen to Jealous while reading this. It'll give you the feels, trust me. It's such a sad song. But it's also so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️

***
I was numbly laying on my bed, staring up at the blank, white ceiling. Tears were slowly sliding down my temples. Me and Y/N were in a heated argument, only about an hour ago. She had been furious. " I can't believe you cheated on me Shawn!" she had screamed through tears. "I can't stay here one more second," Y/N had said "I'm leaving. And don't you dare expect me to come back!" I was so angry, that I said things that most likely shattered Y/N. " Leave then," I had yelled at her, " I never loved you in the first place!" She had left my home.

 And maybe even my life. I sit up and grab my pillow from behind me. I clutch it tightly and rest my head on it gently. I bite my bottom lip to stop my tears. It has no effect on my broken heart. I had Jealous by Labrinth playing in the background. The lyrics meant so much now that I was broken. What if Y/N was the girl for me, and I had let her go in the snap of a finger? Tears slipped out of my eyes at the thought of that. I had hurt her so much. She was probably propped up on her bed, crying tears of complete sorrow. I let out a heart wrenching sob. The song lyrics made me even more somber.

It's hard for me to say
I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me.

His deep and heartbroken voice made me cry uncontrollably. I felt myself shake and shiver. I missed her. I missed her sweet smile. I missed her contagious laughter. I missed her cute voice around the house. I just wanted her back. I wish I never cheated on her in the first place, and I wish I had never fought with her so harshly. I could already imagine Y/N with another guy, actually spending time with one another, not always on tour or arguing. I look up at the ceiling again. "I don't want to let you go." I whispered to nobody in particular.

 I was drowning in my remorse and misery, at this point in time. I couldn't remember the last time we were happy. It must've been out first date. Or our Prom Night. Whatever it was, it was long gone, buried in a lot of  sad and painful thoughts. I stopped crying for a second as a moment of realization washed over me. Maybe I wasn't enough for her. Maybe I just wasn't right for her. Maybe a guy like me didn't deserve her. Maybe, it was time to just let her go. Let her be happy, and not feel trapped. Labyrinths voice ended the song on a somber note,and then replayed again.

It's hard for me to say
I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me.

***
Hello 💛

I just wanted to say this was such a sad imagine 😢 especially while your listening to Jealous. The next part will be Y/N's point of view. I'll add this song in that part too, because I love it wayyyyyy too much!

Thank you so much for reading!