-shawn mendes imagines-

44 : Him, Her And The Other

" I just need this one thing!" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. Shawn tilted his head back and closed his eyes in attempt to calm himself. " I'm not asking for anything big, Shawn." I say, sitting myself down beside him on the couch. He shakes his head.

" I'm not rolling in money, Y/N. I get it, I'm a pretty big singer. That doesn't mean I'm just gonna give you around a thousand dollars." I exhaled loudly." You promised me, Shawn. The night we met at that bar you had promised that if I gave you what you wanted, then you would give me the things I wanted. "

Shawn looked over at me, his gaze almost angry. He knew that I was right. A few years ago, Shawn had met me at a club. He was all over me. It was almost ridiculous. So when I found out he was secretly dating Camila Cabello, I was ready to cut ties with him. But then he had promised me something.

Money.

Of course, I thought it was nonsensical. I wasn't going to let him pay me for cheating on his girlfriend. But when I thought about it, I really did need the money. I wasn't doing well financially. Living in a sketchy apartment and not having a job, drinking and never having enough to eat. So, I had agreed.

I moved out to a nicer place with the money he gave me and I had considered getting a job. But then I decided to just live with the money Shawn was providing me with. I tried not to buy much, but I just couldn't help it. It was too hard not to spend money that was given to me. I hug my knees to my chest and lean on the armrest of the couch while Shawn had his legs stretched out in front of him.

We both sat drowned in silence, having nothing to say. I decided to break the quietness. " Don't you regret this?" I asked out of the blue. Shawn looked down at his lap and played with the silver ring on his finger. " Regret what? " He questioned. I smirked. " You know. Cheating on Camila." I whispered. He exhaled loudly. " Let's not go there." He spoke, trying to avoid the topic.

" Stop it Shawn. You know what you're doing is wrong." I said, taking a glimpse at him. His jaw was clenched and he was facing forward, avoiding all eye contact. " Don't you think it would hurt her? " I whispered. Shawn parted his lips to say something. " She doesn't know. She never will." He said confidently. 

I turned to face him. " She will someday. What you're doing is disgusting." I murmured. He stood up, fists balled up at his sides. " Then aren't you as equally as disgusting as me?!" He growled. I stood up from my spot, my face inches away from his. " Don't you dare." I snarled. He smirked in a smug manner. 

" Why don't you just tell her that you don't love her? Stop being so fucking selfish and let her go to find somebody that's right for her." I spoke, trying to keep myself calm and collected. Shawn turned to face his right to avoid my gaze, his sharp jawline exposed. I felt my stomach do a few cartwheels. 

" You can't answer me, can you?" I asked. He clenched his jaw and looked at me again. " You're fucking gross, Shawn. Having sex with one girl and then going to another." I spoke. His eye were full of utmost anger. " That one girl is you." He retreated, his face getting closer and closer with every word that he uttered.

I swallowed and took a small step backwards. He came closer and placed his hands on my waist. He inclined toward my ear. I felt his warm breath fan over my skin. " Stop Shawn. " I stuttered, my eyes fluttering closed for a second. " Shh, babygirl." He rasped. His hands snaked down to my thighs, signalling me to jump. 

His thick boner could slightly be felt on my skin as he threw me onto the bed, crawling on top of me. Wordlessly, he ripped off my shirt and sweatpants , leaving me in my wine red bra and panties.

-

We laid on the white bed, breathless after a moment of pointless, yet rough intimacy. Our faces were towards the ceiling. Shawn was resting his head on his forearm while I had the crisp white sheets pulled up to my chest.

Our heavy breathing filled the room until Shawn broke the silence. " Do you love anyone , Y/N?" He questioned. I kept my eyes on the ceiling. I took a moment to answer. " I have before." I whispered. I was praying in my head that he would avoid this complicated topic.

" What does it feel like?" He asked in a dreamy manner. I turned to face him, admiring his face.  Miniscule beads of sweat were still resting on his brow whilst his curly brown hair hung low on his forehead, giving off a mysterious, yet sexy vibe.

" I don't know. " I quietly chuckled. My heart had been too broken to remember what loving someone had felt like. " Tell me. You must remember something." He pleaded, rolling over on his side to come a bit closer to me.

I did the same so that we were both facing one another. He examined my face and smiled. " You're beautiful, you know that, right?" He stroked my cheek with his thumb. I gave him a weak smile and looked away from his face. " Hey, look at me." He commanded soothingly.

I returned my gaze to meet his caramel glazed orbs. He pecked my lips sweetly as I was trying my utmost best to not blush. " Will you answer my question?" He asked curiously. I parted my lips to say something and racked my brain to find something to say to him. 

" To me, love was like being shit on a million times, and then finding something amazing. Something that made me happy. Something that made me love life. But then it was just gone. Like it was temporary. " I sighed and started to draw random patterns on the crisp white bed sheets. 

" I don't know Shawn. It's probably different for everyone." I shook my head lightly and looked at him. His eyes were looking into the distance. " Shawn!" I spoke, gently shaking his shoulder to get him out of his trance. " Huh? Oh, sorry." He mumbled, a shade of pink creeping up on his cheeks. 

" S'okay." I whispered. " Why did you ask?" I questioned, looking him straight in the eye. He stared at me too, and for few seconds we just stayed like that. He smiled weakly and took a deep breath. " I think I'm in love with someone." He stated confidently. I didn't reply. It had to be Camila. Who else could it be? Definitely not me. 

" Who?" I inquired. Shawn gulped. " Do I have to tell you?" He asked hesitantly. I didn't say a word. I continued to play around with the sheets, trying to ignore the fact that he was about to make a huge statement. " You." He whispered. My eyes shot up to his in a split second. My jaw dropped just a bit. Shawn was in love with me?

" What?" I stammered. He nodded. " I love you. I keep on calling you to come over so that I can see you. When we're making love, I can't help but stare at you. I just think that these three years that we've been doing this for resulted in..." He didn't continue. I could sense his embarrassment. " Love?" I questioned sternly. He looked at me with a pained expression. 

" I know it's wrong. I would really hurt Camila if she knew about this. But it just happened. I couldn't stop myself." He croaked. I knew that he was on the verge of tears. I cupped his cheek in my hand and stroked it with my thumb. " Look, I understand that you're in love. But you're going to have to tell her the truth and let her go first. Because I know that you care about Camila." I whispered calmly.

 He nodded, but then glanced at me. " Do you love me?" He questioned. THere was so much hope and pain in his voice that it almost made me cry. I thought about it for a minute and realized, that maybe, I did love him back. Everytime he would touch me, hold me, it would send shivers down my spine. I had never admitted it, for I didn't want my heart to be shattered again.

I nodded and smiled broadly. " I do." He grinned and pressed his lips onto mine. Our tongues danced around in sync and I could taste the sweetness from his, soft, pink lips. He let go of the kiss and pulled me into his arms. My head rested against his chest and the comforting sound of his heartbeat could be heard in my ears as I closed my eyes to fall asleep.

For the first time, he actually meant it when he kissed me. 

***

Hello 💛

After yesterday's imagine, this one's pretty lighthearted. But that doesn't mean it sucks. Anyways, I've missed writing ( even though i was just being lazy and not updating ) I'm sorryyyy. i'll try not to do it anymore . 

Okay i'll shut up now

Thank you so much for reading!