Phil's POV

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Maybe it was the alcohol clouding my brain. Maybe it was that I knew Dan may not remember it in the morning. I really don't know why I said it. I just don't--but I had and it was too late to back out now.

"Phil!" Dan squeeled, obviously too taken aback by the sentence I had just said to compile any more than one word into a sentence.

He laughed lightly, mainly out of awkwardness but there was a slight hint of genuine humor in his giggle. I was greatful I hadn't made Dan feel like a complete and utter idiot but I had made him a little uncomfortable. That just added to my enjoyment.

He was usually the outgoing one, the one with all the friends and social events and the one with all the girls. Oh god did he get the girls--they loved him.

He rarely persisted in the chase but most of the time he didn't have to. They practically pilled up outside the front door, bowing down to his every need. But it was my turn now-i was the one who was giving him butterflies, making him extremely red in the face; none of those girls did that, this was me.

"Dan!" I squeeled back at him, mocking his tone from before.

"Oh shut up" he laughed and pushed me slightly, "You know you would never say things like that sober!"

"Isn't that what alcohol is for? To say things you don't want to when you're not drunk?" I said.

I was joking but there was a hint of hope in my voice and if I heard it that means Dan definitely had. I wasn't expecting him to say he loved me or even come out--those things were a world away from happening--i just wanted to know, did he ever think about me? Did he ever look at me the way I looked at him? Did he know how I felt? Did he ever get even the slightest hint?

Of course not you idiot

Right now, I just wanted to rip my subconscious out of my head and stamp on it. Why did logical thinking  always have to ruin my good daydreams?

A sad smile plastered itself onto my face as I thought more into the impossible task of getting over Dan. Could I really do it?

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