A Dream come true

Phil's POV

I was lonely while Dan disappeared to the shops but it gave me a little of the alone time I needed. I needed to think this through properly. He was so drunk last night he may not even remember the antics that occurred but what if he did? What if he was waiting for me to say it again sober while I was waiting for him to bring it up?

God I'm a mess.

It wasn't like I hadn't thought about telling him before. The idea had buzzed around in my head like a swarm of bees for a while now I'd just never gotten the opportunity. It was never the right time. Whenever I thought about 'us' being a thing I would just get majorly upset and shut myself away from him. Then he would assume the worst, I'd assure him I was fine and we'd go spiralling back around again. A never ending loop.

I could bring it up casually like ask him how he thought the night was and if he could actually recall most of it or I could just jump straight into it and confess everything. But both were complete opposites of the spectrum- too casual or too formal- I needed to find a happy medium.

Easier said than done.

A tuneful humming rang in my ears and I heard the car door open and a hooded figure slide in the seat next to me. Dan threw my food at me (of which he had managed to meet my demands) and mumbled a sort of "there you go," before turning to his own food.

Breathing heavily I weighed up in my mind my next move. What the hell could I say to take the edge off? It was a battle with confusion as the words refused to bring themselves into a concise sentence.
"So, enjoy last night then?" I asked attempting to near myself to him but stopping immediately when he shuffled in his seat.
Humming intently to just agree with the question rather than give an answer. Noticing how much of a bumbling idiot I must of sounded I pressed my mouth into a hard line and instructed myself to focus on something else for a while.

Tearing open my chocolate bar my mind drifted to the radio show tonight. I had quite a lot to do that I usually thought of on a Saturday (usually because I wasn't out drinking) like the hashtag. That hashtag has caused more trouble than it's worth. Honestly thinking up a concept that people will relate to is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do for that job.

I debated using last nights antics as a story line-- maybe not tell the full truth but thereabouts. Reciting my on the spot script again and again in my head, carefully adding in or taking out details until I had what I thought was near enough perfect.

Removing my phone from my pocket I opened my notes app to type down the improvised speech I had just developed when I heard Dan clear his throat as if about to say something. Gazing over at him I practically forgot everything I just thought of and punched in some notes before turning my attention back to Dan.
"Yes?" I said inquisitively.
"Are you okay?" He asked obviously noticing the tension between us and the edge on my voice.
"Fine thank you," i sarcastically stated.
"Phil, I know you're not. Tell me what's wrong please?"
His sentence came out more of a beg than anything else and I felt slightly guilty for making him believe the way I was feeling now was all his fault.

It wasn't. I was the one who'd been stupid enough to tell him, to think he wouldn't of even gave a second though; I expected him to accept it and move on. By the tone in his voice I was adamant he remembered me telling him. It wasn't a memorable way to do it but it sure as hell was a memorable thing to say.

I cast aside the question and decided I should wait until we were in a more than comfortable situation to have a real talk. This wasn't something to just be talked of lightly; this was me-- the real me.

"Are you sure we'll be okay for the radio show?" Completely dodging the point was the way I planned to go about this.

"Yeah, we might look a little under the wather but hey ho." Dan chimmed trying to sound cheerful.

Opening the camera app on my phone I assessed my newly hungover look. Dark circles hung under my eyes and my skin was ghostly and dry. A gaunt expression camouflaged my usual look and made it conspicuous what last night had consisted of. Hair was sticking from all angles of my head; running my hand through it, it refused to go into an orderly style. Still using my phone as a mirror I dubiously attempted to pat down stray hair before innevitably giving up and accepting I would need a shower before I could sort myself into a normal state.

"What time are we leaving?" Dan piped up when I was still checking the rest of my look.
"Soon, I think. I need a shower desperately and there's no way we're getting one here." I replied.
He didn't reply properly just hummed and went back to staring at the abyss of nothing important.

Deciding that I did not have time to wait around I opened the car door (of which I had been sitting in the back seat) and hoped into the drivers side-- only to sigh when I realised the keys were still in the back seats.
"Dan, pass the keys?" A questioning tone filling my voice.

A jangling of metal and then a loud thump and the keys were literally thrown at me and landed onto my lap.
"Owwwww." I said sarcastically in an attempt to lighten the mood but when I was greeted with no reply I thought best to just carry on. I stuck the keys into the ignition and turned them.
"Buckle up Dan."
I pressed the radio buttons bashfully and the speakers sang out an old Fall Out Boy classic. Pressing the accelerator I reversed out of our parking space and began to drive us home.

A/N-- I'm trying to make my chapters a little longer so sorry if I do ramble on a bit in this one but I was struggling to make it longer while trying not to get too carried away with the actual plot line. I hope you enjoyed it ok byeee.