BAD GYAL 4 - Michael Jackson & Beyonce lesbian love story

Chapter 28 - The Gospel Of Mickie Jo

I like being alone when I'm hurt, confused or angry; it's the only way I can think straight. There's a lot on my mind right now, but the main thing is my childhood. I dont like to be reminded of the past because I prefer to act as if I live a perfect life with perfect parents. But of course that's not the case and sometimes the truth rears its ugly head and triggers painful memories of the sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of my own father when I was just six years old; I dont think anyone knows that I know what dad used to do to me - not even the guy himself; but I dont think I could ever hate him because despite repeatedly molesting me, he was the best dad any kid could ever ask for; he always got me everything I wanted, he always took me where I wanted to go and he always looked out for me and protected me just like a dad should - and as a child this fucked my mind so bad, I can admit I've grown into a twisted grown up because of it. Well, I'm still pretty normal........except for the fact I can act like my dad never abused me at all; anyone would think nothing ever happened. Shit, I've probably made him think nothing ever happened. My ignorance makes my life easier; it's always been easier to play pretend and act like dad is a good guy because somewhere in my twisted brain I've always believed there's good in that man...... Anyway, what Beyonce's dad said about him being a pedophile and looking at Beyonce in a strange way as a child just rubbed me the wrong way. My feelings for this girl are too strong, they're starting to scare me. It's as if the thought of him abusing her as a child hurts me more than knowing he did it to me, his own daughter.

These are things I could never get off my chest and explain to Beyonce; you're lucky I'm telling you this much about me, reader. This is between me and you because I dont care too much what you think - I care a great deal what Beyonce thinks of me and I dont ever wanna let her know this because she might judge me, look at me different and because I know she definitely wouldnt wanna carry on like normal and play pretend with me; this is why we cant be together - her dad seems to know an awful lot about my dad and I'm sure once she hears some of it, she wont wanna stick around anyway; she'll probably think we're weirdos. I'm not gonna wait around for it to happen that way; since this clearly wasnt meant to work out between us, I guess tonight was an opportunity for me to just end it.........as much as I'm hurting right now, crying like a little bitch; I gotta be tough. And like they say, what's meant to be will be. Maybe in the future.....💔