Ariana
January 20th
I wake up rubbing my eyes, the sun shines down on my bed from the window. I get up shutting the curtains, I turn around seeing grayson at the door. I stay still, I'm not sure if I want to talk to him "Hey" he awkwardly scratches his neck, I look down to the floor licking my lips "So your just going to ignore me?" He says, I stay quiet "Ar-" I cut him off by talking over him"You fucked up grayson, is that what you want me to say? Because other than that I have nothing else to say to you" I throw my hands in the air, he rubs his forearm nodding "I know I fucked up, but what do you want me to say? Sorry" he acts like he did nothing wrong, I shake my head this man needs help "I don't want you to say anything, I want you to leave me alone" I tell him, he stays quiet standing in the door way "Look I know I messed up, but one thing I won't let you do is push me away" his voice cracks as he speaks.
I put my hands over my face, I don't get it this is to much for a person to handle "One minute you want me the next you don't, I seriously can't deal with you" I shout, he drops his hands down to his sides "I know what I want, you don't" I sternly say, he sighs "I know what I want, I just can't accept it" he speaks up, my eyes gloss over with tears "Accept what?" I ask, he shrugs sighing deeply "I'm not sure, but I know that I want you" he truthfully says, I put my arms over my chest "I love you" I whisper, he licks his lips tears form in his eyes "Do you love me?" I squint my eyes at him waiting for a response, he stays silent "No you don't, clearly you do not know what you want" I spit, he runs his hands through his hair "You're right okay, I don't love you but I care" he walks closer to me, I put my hand out not wanting him to touch me.
He stops in his tracks putting his head down "Ari" I shake my head as tears stream down my face, the only thing I want is for him to love me. I could honestly give no fucks if he cared, I just want his love "I don't want you to care" I tiredly say, he puts his lips together rubbing his jaw "As much as you say you care, you don't. You have sex with me then treat me like a child, you make me do things for you then act like I don't exist, you tell me you care then you put your hands on me like I'm a man. So tell me grayson do you really care?" I croak out, he comes closer grabbing my face in his large hands. I shut my eyes crying, my bottom lip shakes wanting to drop itself. He puts his face in my neck wrapping his arms around me.
I leave my hands on my sides, I'm not getting what he is doing. He says he hates me then he does stuff like this "Do you really hate me?" I mumble, he pulls away from me examining my face "No" he clenches his jaw "Why do you lie to yourself then?" I keep my eyes in contact with his, waiting to see what he has to say "Because I'm afraid to love you" he whispers losing eye contact with me "I get it, but you are hurting me. So fucking much" I grab his hands, he looks down at me "I don't know how to love, its scares me okay. I'm trying my best here" he explains, I giggle slightly sniffling "I'm here for you, stop treating me like a sex object" I state, he brings my face to his pressing his lips on mine. I kiss back slowly moving our lips in a motion, he holds both sides of my face in his hands keeping me close to him.
I wrap my arms around his body running my hands up his black shirt; touching his back muscles. He bites down on my bottom lip pulling at it. I look him in his eyes seeing a small glow, I'm not sure if that's for me or if that is just natural on him. He slides his hands down my face bringing them to my shoulders, then slowly going down my arms getting to my hands. He grabs them locking mine with his "You're so pretty" he compliments me making my cheeks flush a crimson red color. He chuckles letting my hands go "I'm gonna try for you" he says, I press my lips together nodding "I trust you" he smiles, my heart beat speeds up from seeing him smile; that's rare.
Very short chapter :(
Filler basically.
Love faith
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