The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 16

CLARKE POV
I wait in my room pacing the floors. I think I said the right thing, but I can never be sure. I've started to write my day on scrap pieces of paper. It's the easiest thing to do stuck in this room all day. I've burnt all the pages using on of my candles though, not wanting someone to see them who shouldn't.
It's been almost an hour when Gaia walks in unannounced. "You're punishment has been decided." She says stoic.

"And?" I look up to her. She shows no emotion, better than Lexa could.

"The ambassadors and Heda have decided you will be kept here as a prisoner." My jaw drops.
"Wanheda will be used as a symbol of strength to the new passage. Heda convinced the ambassadors that the new age should be of peace. She still holds onto Jus drein jus daun, but loosely now. You are allowed to lead your people, but must alert the council of any doings in territory outside of your own. The council will decide when you are allowed to eat, and you will be shown at every political meeting."
So I'm their prisoner, a pet they can use.
"Did Kane agree to this?" I ask looking down.

"He suggested most of it. He also pleaded to allow someone to stay here when you request. It was allowed after many arguments over whether you'd use it to your advantage. Your mother will arrive by tomorrow evening." I hear her footsteps drag farther away from me.
"I'm truly sorry Clarke." I look up to see her face. She's allowed her mask to drop and looks woeful for me.

"So this is it. Not even I can argue my way out of this one huh?"
No response.
"Thank you for telling me." I say quietly.

"Before I forget, you're needed in the dining room in an hour, to celebrate the new terms for the 13th clan."
She's put back on the facade looking through me.
I look at her confused before she answers my unspoken question.

"I was told they would discuss the terms at dinner."
And with that she walks away, leaving me to my self pity.
I braid my hair back, trying to distract myself. It all comes down to me, doesn't it?
Bellamy blames me for his actions, Lexa blames me for her feelings, Titus blames me for Lexa's actions, my own mom blames me for her own actions, and I blame myself for my actions.
I've dug myself into a hole, and I keep digging down.
I finish my braid with a piece of woven cloth cut to a thin strip. I line my eyes in a pencil and place blue powder along my eyelids. Gaia gave strict instructions to the guards to hand me the directions sheet.
Apparently it's customary to apply makeup during celebrations.
I don't even bother trying to mess up, if I'm their prisoner I might as well act the part. I tuck the extra blue powder in my desk to use as paint later. I'm sure I could mix it with some oils to create a smooth consistency. I move to the next step and place two damp fingers in soft green powder. I streak it along both sides of my cheeks, right below my eyes. It reminds me of the makeup I had done the day we pledged ourselves as the 13th clan. It was a simpler time. If only life hadn't screwed everything up.
I put on the pants and top I was given adding my own jacket onto the outfit. I cross my room and stare out at children playing in the city. They all are carefree, winding in and out of the vendors. They don't care how late the hour is, they just want to have fun. I take a deep breathe and advert my eyes. I don't even remember the first time I felt like them. It must've been sometime on the Ark with Wells maybe.
"Everyone who gets close to me dies." I murmur to myself.
I'm lost in my own train of thought when I hear a knock on my door. Without letting the intruder inside, Roan walks in two of his own guards trailing him. He motions for them to wait and walks up to me far enough to where no one can hear.

"It seems the mighty Wanheda is lucky when it comes to her death, or maybe she's just too persuasive. Either way it seems you won't be needing my help after all."

"What do you want?" I say impatient.

"I thought you'd be thanking me. When tables turned away from your death I was the one who led them to the idea of holding you captive." He proudly sneers.

"Of course it was you."

"Well now you get to spend time with Lexa no questions asked." He states blatantly.

"I think it's time you leave." I order.

"Oh but I'm here to escort you. I did volunteer you know."

I look at him surprised. He walks to his guards then turns around waiting for me. With a huff I follow, his guards trailing behind us. It's silent the whole way there as I'm mainly trying to figure my way around this maze.
Roan stands in front of me pausing before a Sentry opens the door announcing our arrival.

"King Roan of Azgeda and Wanheda of the Skaikru." The sentry bellows.
Everyone's already seated and again I'm last to come.